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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: This Just In! Late Breaking News
    Posted: Yesterday at 5:32am
Pelosi gives away pens with spelling error for Senate impeachment trial;  Pens say "Untied States of America" and should be showing up on eBay soon


https://www.baltimoresun.com/news/bs-xpm-1999-01-16-9901160271-story.html
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jan 2020 at 5:34am
Best chance of Democrat win in 2020 revealed:  Biden may pick Meghan Markle as his VP running mate;  Media already drooling at the possibility
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2020 at 5:54am
Statistics show that if you live in a Southern California beach city, you can live to be 100!  If you don't die early from mudslides or wild fires, or are a victim of a celebrity
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jan 2020 at 6:05am
Even without AI guiding it, researchers discover that the Internet is smart.  Smarter than you!  Most people surveyed know very little about their own 'smart' devices, though some even give them cutesy names



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2020 at 6:01am
"Megxit" Underway!  Prince Harry, Meghan Markle step back from their trivial "Royal Duties" to seek fame in North America as NeoKardashians



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jan 2020 at 5:37am
(Part 5 in a continuing series)

Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters?  Woodstock died after flying into a plate glass window;  His body was eaten by a passing raccoon before he could be buried
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Jan 2020 at 6:14am
Beer sales drop another 3% in Canada due to people switching to legal pot;  Consumers still stay fat, though, due to the munchies factor


https://boingboing.net/2020/01/07/canada-legalized-pot-and-beer.html
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jan 2020 at 6:01am
"Diversity Math" failure at NFL;  Despite fact that females make up over 50% of US population, there are 0% female NFL coaches


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jan 2020 at 5:47am
(Part 4 in a continuing series)

Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters? In his old age, Snoopy came down with canine hip displacia and had to be put to sleep;  The parents told the kids that he was sent back to the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Jan 2020 at 5:38am
Iranian General Suliemani killed by missiles at Bagdad airport after trying to avoid TSA security checkpoint;  TSA says "We take security breaches very seriously, and deal with them appropriately"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jan 2020 at 5:51am
(Part 4 in a continuing series)

Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters?  Rerun Van Pelt was raised to be a genetically compatible organ donor for the rest of the family;  Parts of him still live on in them
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jan 2020 at 4:58am
You will all be dead in the next 5 days;  2004 predictions still have a short time to actually occur;  Scoffers say "You idgits can't even predict tomorrow's weather!"


https://summit.news/2019/12/27/report-hyped-by-climate-alarmists-warned-of-million-of-deaths-nuclear-war-sunken-major-cities-by-2020/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Dec 2019 at 5:09am
Most people happy that the last Monday of 2019 is over;  All things considered, it wasn't too bad, they say;  Also, only 360 more shopping days left until next Christmas!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Dec 2019 at 5:53am
(Part 3 in a continuing series)

Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters?  Schroeder was (allegedly) groped by Kevin Spacey, and became an agoraphobic recluse;  He refuses to be in a room if only one other person is present 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Dec 2019 at 5:24am
(Part 2 in a continuing series)

Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters?  Marcy was a deep cover Chinese espionage agent;  She grew up to become Honey from Doonesbury
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Dec 2019 at 5:49am
(Part 1 in a continuing series)

Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters?  Peppermint Patty became a long-haul trucker and married a river barge captain
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Dec 2019 at 5:42am
Sick of those 'new' gas cans that don't work?  Be heard and change it!

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/bring-back-old-gas-cans
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Dec 2019 at 5:30am
Santa made his annual Christmas sleigh run early this morning, even future Bond villians received presents;  Most popular gift this year was popcorn, in all varieties of flavors
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Dec 2019 at 5:48am
Climate change rally in South Florida turns into stampede as activists protesting against rising sea levels flee in panic from sudden high water at beach;  Meteorologists say not to worry, as "it's only high tide, which happens at least once a day"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Dec 2019 at 6:07am
Porch pirates stepping up their game;  Thieves leaving exploding turd box bombs in place of the packages they steal;  Recipients urged to "check their deliveries carefully" before taking them inside
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Dec 2019 at 5:57am
Why so many bodies of people who died trying to climb Mt. Everest will never be recovered:  Reports confirmed that Himalayan Yeti often grab the frozen corpses for a quick and easy meal
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Dec 2019 at 5:50am
Fake guacamole in restaraunts more prevalent than you think;  But, some food experts say it often tastes better than the real thing

https://www.foodandwine.com/syndication/fake-guacamole-taqueria
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Dec 2019 at 6:04am
Triscuit-deckaphobia? Nabisco releases a thirteen-sided cracker just for the occasional Friday the Thirteenth
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Dec 2019 at 5:58am
Kids freaking out before Christmas;  Santa's 'Gimme These Toys Now!' app is down, greedy tykes redirected to submit requests via fax
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Dec 2019 at 6:02am
Adolf Hitler's soiled underwear from his 1945 suicide sells at auction for £3.6 million;  Seller and buyer remain anonymous, but experts confirmed the authenticity of the historic item
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