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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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MrTim View Drop Down
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    Posted: 01 May 2010 at 5:31am
Extra!  Extra!  Add your headlines here!  (Try to keep it humorous! Wink )
 
George Hamilton asks Charlie Crist to return his tan;  Sales of sunscreen go up.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2010 at 7:39pm
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"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tiz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2010 at 9:16pm
Molsons Ice Pulls Out Of New York. Man on bicycle mounts a protest.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Moochamoocha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2010 at 10:49pm
Naked Woman With Axe Runs Amok Down Times Square. "Tired of stupid ads!" she screams.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2010 at 11:15pm
^^^ LOL
 
Barney the Purple Dinosaur joins cast of Twilight;  IQ of Twilight fans increases as a result
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2010 at 11:19pm
Originally posted by Tiz Tiz wrote:

Molsons Ice Pulls Out Of New York. Man on bicycle mounts a protest.
Confused I resemble this...there certainly would be problems...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2010 at 4:21am
Howard Stern nearly strangled by hair during nap;  Beats offending wig to death with toilet brush
 
In other news:
 
The Onion crying "CIH headlines are better than ours!"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2010 at 11:28pm

Anorexic convention cancels $100-a-plate fundraiser dinner;  Organizers mystified by low turnout

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote musicman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2010 at 12:19am
Parent says no to child; Arrested for bruising child's precious ego
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hootman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2010 at 1:21am
Woman's Headless, Armless Body Found in River...Foul Play is Suspected

(Actual headline I read in Cleveland, TN 20 years ago.)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2010 at 4:34am
Charmin Bears switch to Peter Cottontail brand toilet paper;  Claim it is softer and more natural
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tiz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2010 at 7:54pm
 Former TV Infomercial guru Billy Mays' grave site was partially vandalized: broken Awesome Auger found nearby. Officials say culprit was caught on the site's video and  ListenUp devices.    An arrest is pending. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hootman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2010 at 8:06pm
Ron Popeil Caught Doing "Showtime" in Central Park
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tiz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2010 at 9:56pm
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jVrDHOrfzGqN_4oIMd0AoK02ruWAD9FCSHV01
Deputy Fife's girlfriend, Thelma Lou, was robbed at gunpoint today. After an APB, the alert employees Goober and Gomer, at Wally's filling station, nabbed the robber by locking him in the mens room. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 May 2010 at 11:32pm
Study: Blondes remember better with repetition; Study: Blondes remember better with repetition
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 May 2010 at 12:07am
The Pinball vs. Harpsichord Feud:  A meeting of the minds at last?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 May 2010 at 2:05am
Originally posted by MrTim MrTim wrote:

The Pinball vs. Harpsichord Feud:  A meeting of the minds at last?
You forgot the ARMONICA
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 May 2010 at 8:01pm
A Connecticut official has won the right to run for state attorney general after she had to sue herself to prove her qualifications.
 
(look it up - it's real - and it's funny, in a sad sort-of-way)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 May 2010 at 11:38pm
Buffet raided by bulemic flash mob;  Horrified eyewitness recounts "It was like a feeding frenzy of puking piranha!"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tiz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 May 2010 at 11:50pm
TLC announces new reality show; Deadliest Takeout Joints. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2010 at 4:14am
Hormel files suit against porn star Dinky Moore over title of his upcoming movie, "Beefcake Stew"; Moore threatens early release
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2010 at 4:42am
Gulf Coast Residents Now Able To Get Blackened Fish BEFORE It's Cooked.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Moochamoocha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2010 at 4:24pm
Times Square Would-be Bomber Caught! Area now safe for muggers and pickpockets.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tiz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2010 at 9:27pm
Hall of Fame quarterback sacker Lawrence Taylor was charged with sacking a 16 year old girl. LT's defence team is currently in huddle. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2010 at 9:43pm
Benjamin Franklin targetted as a Terrorist!: Poisons U.S. population with his very desireable Lead-Filled 'Armonica' musical intrument!
 
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