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Hi, I'm Dan Tullis and I just called: Joel Clark.

Printed From: Commercials I Hate!
Category: The Message Board
Forum Name: Radio Ads
Forum Description: The ads that make traffic worse every day.
URL: http://www.commercialsihate.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3505
Printed Date: 24 Oct 2017 at 3:20am
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Topic: Hi, I'm Dan Tullis and I just called: Joel Clark.
Posted By: drjimmy
Subject: Hi, I'm Dan Tullis and I just called: Joel Clark.
Date Posted: 17 Jan 2009 at 6:57pm
Hi Mr Tullis...........  SHUT THE f**k UP BOTH OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!



Replies:
Posted By: rvbuilder
Date Posted: 27 Feb 2009 at 4:34pm
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU...God, I hate those commercials...where did they get that monotonal moron Dan Tullis?


Posted By: MrTim
Date Posted: 01 Mar 2009 at 4:32am
Dan Tullis is supposed to be a forgettable actor or something.
 
Anybody good at splicing audio tracks?  This ad is just begging for it.
For example:
 
Hi, I'm Dan stale pee drinker Tullis, and I just called -- JOEL CLARK -- one of Select Quote's f**king annoying term life insurance agents.

Buying term life insurance is as easy as finding a toothless hooker. Let's say you take Chinese placebo antidepressants, or you smoke crack. All insurance companies are going to price that toothless hooker differently. Now we'll impartially shop all the companies we represent to get you the best rate return possible for after we kill you.

-Can you give me an example you douchebag?

Sure. I just got a 40 year old post-op transsexual man, on blood pressure herpes medication, a $500,000 policy with a highly rated insurance company. His her price? . . . Twenty dollars a month.

- Thanks F**k you Joel.


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http://mrtim1k.blogspot.com/ - WKRP closing theme lyrics HERE!


Posted By: Ad Endless Nauseum
Date Posted: 16 Mar 2009 at 7:35am
Dan Tullis and Joel Clark can GO TO HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Evil%20SmileEvil%20SmileEvil%20SmileEvil%20Smile

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"Si vis pacem, para bellum"

Defense de fumer et de cracher

A message brought to you by this station and the Ad Council.


Posted By: Yutolia
Date Posted: 16 Mar 2009 at 3:44pm
Originally posted by MrTim MrTim wrote:

Dan Tullis is supposed to be a forgettable actor or something.
 
Anybody good at splicing audio tracks?  This ad is just begging for it.
For example:
 
Hi, I'm Dan stale pee drinker Tullis, and I just called -- JOEL CLARK -- one of Select Quote's f**king annoying term life insurance agents.

Buying term life insurance is as easy as finding a toothless hooker. Let's say you take Chinese placebo antidepressants, or you smoke crack. All insurance companies are going to price that toothless hooker differently. Now we'll impartially shop all the companies we represent to get you the best rate return possible for after we kill you.

-Can you give me an example you douchebag?

Sure. I just got a 40 year old post-op transsexual man, on blood pressure herpes medication, a $500,000 policy with a highly rated insurance company. His her price? . . . Twenty dollars a month.

- Thanks F**k you Joel.


LOLLOLLOL


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"Xbox Live is an online homophobia club for pre-teen Tourette’s sufferers." - Brockway, Cracked.com


Posted By: rdog157h
Date Posted: 20 Mar 2009 at 7:34pm
And the bad thing is is the same guy doing both voices, except joel clarks voice has been modified slightly, sounds like the just recorded joels voice over a telephone. If they cant afford two voice actors I dam sure am not doing business with them!


Posted By: PaWolf
Date Posted: 20 Mar 2009 at 10:14pm
I'm lost to this one. No idea of who this is...probably better off - so, please don't help me.

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X               <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike


Posted By: Ad Endless Nauseum
Date Posted: 03 Apr 2009 at 9:35am
Is it my imagination, or has Select Quote Insurance really started jamming this down our throats about every two minutes around the clock with this triple damned ad, just within the last week or so? It ran too often before, but lately, it seems to be on almost continuous replay, and it has not got better with age.Angry

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"Si vis pacem, para bellum"

Defense de fumer et de cracher

A message brought to you by this station and the Ad Council.


Posted By: chomsky
Date Posted: 04 May 2009 at 3:11pm
And the big finish.....drum roll..... "20 dollars a month". WOW.


Posted By: Papaduke
Date Posted: 22 Jun 2009 at 11:17pm

Hi, I'm Dan Tullis, and I just called -- JOEL CLARK -- one of Select Quote's term life insurance agents. We will now duel to see who has the deepest African American voice in the land, 



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I have a dream... I believe everyone, everywhere, will know the wonders of my nipples! - Stimpy


Posted By: Supercynical
Date Posted: 26 Jun 2009 at 10:55pm
Originally posted by MrTim MrTim wrote:

Dan Tullis is supposed to be a forgettable actor or something.
 
Anybody good at splicing audio tracks?  This ad is just begging for it.
For example:
 
Hi, I'm Dan stale pee drinker Tullis, and I just called -- JOEL CLARK -- one of Select Quote's f**king annoying term life insurance agents.

Buying term life insurance is as easy as finding a toothless hooker. Let's say you take Chinese placebo antidepressants, or you smoke crack. All insurance companies are going to price that toothless hooker differently. Now we'll impartially shop all the companies we represent to get you the best rate return possible for after we kill you.

-Can you give me an example you douchebag?

Sure. I just got a 40 year old post-op transsexual man, on blood pressure herpes medication, a $500,000 policy with a highly rated insurance company. His her price? . . . Twenty dollars a month.

- Thanks F**k you Joel.
ClapClapClap Thanks, Tim


Posted By: rbfowler79
Date Posted: 11 Aug 2009 at 6:56pm
One of the worst radio ads ever conceived.  Select Quote will never have my business.  Couldn't they have at least used actors that sounded different?  The radio station I listen to played this during every commercial break so after hearing it the first 150 times I couldn't take it anymore so I started taking my headphones off when the commercials would start.


Posted By: dantullisfan
Date Posted: 25 Aug 2009 at 12:38am

I have bad news for Dan Tullis haters.  Dan has found a new friend----Kevin.  Thanks Kevin!



Posted By: servo75
Date Posted: 23 Jun 2011 at 2:09pm
My first reaction:  Who the f***k is Dan Tullis??  Am I supposed to know you?  And then you called a second anonymous person - an insurance salesman who happens to have time to hang out on the phone with you and talk about his other clients.


Posted By: Jamin Jef
Date Posted: 15 Jul 2011 at 7:50pm
Originally posted by rbfowler79 rbfowler79 wrote:

One of the worst radio ads ever conceived.  Select Quote will never have my business.  Couldn't they have at least used actors that sounded different?  The radio station I listen to played this during every commercial break so after hearing it the first 150 times I couldn't take it anymore so I started taking my headphones off when the commercials would start.
 
I refuse to buy insurance from  a company who has a side business selling WOOLEN PARSLEY!  It sounded like woolen partially, but that wouldn't make sense so I figured it must be woolen parsley or maybe even woven parsley.  Anyway, the commercial sucks and it's on the radio every 5 minutes.


Posted By: andypanda
Date Posted: 16 Jul 2011 at 5:24am
Absolutely. Would not deal with them either based just on this single issue alone.
(even if I was looking for insurance)
 
I listen strictly to radio all the time (at home, work ,ect).. Sure enough, we can count on Dan talking to his phone "friend" Joel through out our country. On every single station imaginable, 24/7. Ermm
 
 
For years I've been extremelly annoyed by Dan & Joel's chit-chat on radio. So back around February or March of this year; I decided to start sending SelectQuote a bunch of emails bugging the sh*t out of them. I knew it would be a waste of time. But hoped a glimmer of griping would finally sink in.
 
One good thing by coincidence is at least they've made one or two newer commericals since. Albeit still with Dan.


Posted By: andypanda
Date Posted: 16 Jul 2011 at 5:30am
Originally posted by dantullisfan dantullisfan wrote:

I have bad news for Dan Tullis haters.  Dan has found a new friend----Kevin.  Thanks Kevin!

Almost forgot about Kevin.  He sounded sort of whipped..  like he had to talk to Dan against his own will.


Posted By: geoffharper
Date Posted: 12 Apr 2012 at 8:41pm
Angry  I know this is an old topic, but it's an OLD radio commercial!  It is at LEAST 3 years old and they are STILL using it.  It'll disappear for a while and then come back (like it has been these 2 weeks) like 50 times a day on WTOP.  It's a very bad commercial, and I'm at my wit's end with it.  I wonder if that company is making any money off this ad, because they DEFINITELY wouldn't from me.


Posted By: Jnmcda0
Date Posted: 24 Jul 2012 at 10:55pm

One of the local AM talk stations just played the commercial and the talk show host said after the break "Have you ever noticed that Dan Tullis sounds like the Cookie Monster?  [In Cookie Monster voice] Hi I'm Dan Tullis.  Can you give me an example?".  lol



Posted By: Dirtdog
Date Posted: 23 Sep 2012 at 5:00pm
Oh god a few years ago when this commercial came on I wanted to find this guy doing both voices and tortue him with a hot needle inside his pee hole...


Posted By: Blowtorch
Date Posted: 08 Nov 2012 at 8:25pm
Just found this message board today after Googling "Select Quote Joel Clark."

I never paid much attention to the details of the commercial, except that the two guys sound a lot alike, while wondering why the heck I'm supposed to know who the hell Dan Tullis is. If I had to put a picture to his face, my subconcious would place Dennis Haysbert, the guy who voiced the All State commercials ("Are You in Good Hands?")

Found this Wilkepedia page on Dan Tullis... not sure if it's legit or not...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Tullis_Jr.



Posted By: Ad nauseous
Date Posted: 08 Nov 2012 at 9:50pm
Originally posted by Supercynical Supercynical wrote:

Originally posted by MrTim MrTim wrote:

Dan Tullis is supposed to be a forgettable actor or something.
 
Anybody good at splicing audio tracks?  This ad is just begging for it.
For example:
 
Hi, I'm Dan stale pee drinker Tullis, and I just called -- JOEL CLARK -- one of Select Quote's f**king annoying term life insurance agents.

Buying term life insurance is as easy as finding a toothless hooker. Let's say you take Chinese placebo antidepressants, or you smoke crack. All insurance companies are going to price that toothless hooker differently. Now we'll impartially shop all the companies we represent to get you the best rate return possible for after we kill you.

-Can you give me an example you douchebag?

Sure. I just got a 40 year old post-op transsexual man, on blood pressure herpes medication, a $500,000 policy with a highly rated insurance company. His her price? . . . Twenty dollars a month.

- Thanks F**k you Joel.
ClapClapClap Thanks, Tim


LOL

I never heard this radio ad before it sounds stupid and annoying. I guess I'm counting my blessings here since I'll probably bash the radio with a hammer if it ever came on.LOLAngry



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One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off


Posted By: Dr. John Dorian
Date Posted: 21 Mar 2014 at 10:09pm
Hey, it's 2014 now and Dan Tullis is still calling JOEL CLARK every commercial break. And the worst thing about this thing, besides it being annoying? You totally forget what company they're advertising. I think they only say it once in passing. The point of any advertising should be to get you to remember the name of the business, right?


Posted By: TurdFerguson
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2014 at 6:57pm
Dr. Dorian (I loved you in Scrubs BTW,) EXACTLY!

Actually, I forget what company it is because of the fact that it's the same guy calling himself.  Can't stop focusing on that ridiculous shortcut every time I hear it.  After hearing this ad for years, I still have trouble remembering the name.

Someone a long time ago on this thread asked if anyone is good at cutting/pasting.  That happens to be a real specialty of mine.  I used to make audiocollages all day long and get them played on oddball radio shows like the Subgenius Hour of Slack and Some Assembly Required podcast.  I know it's years later, but I may give it a shot soon.


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It's funny 'cause it's bigger than a normal hat.


Posted By: bandit
Date Posted: 11 Dec 2014 at 10:35pm
And now, in December 2014, they're running 'em again - the same ads!  Save us !!!!!!!!!


Posted By: Ad nauseous
Date Posted: 05 Jan 2015 at 8:31pm
What a sh*tty ad just heard it couple hours ago.

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One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off


Posted By: JS
Date Posted: 18 Apr 2017 at 12:40am
2017 and I heard it yesterday on an AM station while trying to pick up a Penguins' game.

Googled Dan Tullis to see if this is somebody I should be aware of, and it turns out he was in "No Maam" with Al Bundy. 

(Pictured: Dan Tullis, asking Al Bundy if he would be interested in a SelectQuote life insurance quote. I'm almost sure Al responded with "shoot me. Please shoot me.")



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