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Velveeta: Eat Liquid Gold

Printed From: Commercials I Hate!
Category: Commercials You Hate!
Forum Name: Television / Streaming Ads
Forum Description: You hate them. Tell us why.
URL: http://www.commercialsihate.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=13521
Printed Date: 28 Mar 2024 at 3:19pm
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Topic: Velveeta: Eat Liquid Gold
Posted By: Oldiesmann
Subject: Velveeta: Eat Liquid Gold
Date Posted: 25 Aug 2012 at 5:26pm
I've seen this ad several times over the past couple of hours and it's getting old real fast.




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Michael "Oldiesmann" Eshom
Cincinnati, Ohio



Replies:
Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 25 Aug 2012 at 5:55pm
So from this ad I'm supposed to come away with the idea that.....
 
Only losers with crappy dead end jobs eat Velveeta Shells & Cheese.
 
Gotcha. Thumbs Up
 
 
 
 
 


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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 25 Aug 2012 at 5:58pm
The best store bought macaroni & cheese is Stouffer's.
 
Good stuff.
 
 


-------------
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 25 Aug 2012 at 6:23pm
Make your own.  Use real cheese.  It's easy enough and just as quick as this Velveeta stuff.


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 25 Aug 2012 at 6:36pm
I sometimes make pretty good, quick mac & cheese just by tossing a couple of sandwich slices of cheese & a little milk into a pot of still hot, drained pasta.
Cover, let the cheese slices melt, stir, add some grated cheese on top & enjoy.
 
Works good with flat egg noodles, spaghetti or linguini too.
 
Even ramens.
 


-------------
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States


Posted By: sgtrock21
Date Posted: 25 Aug 2012 at 7:17pm
As usual. Before I could type the first letter this pos commercial came on! I have not tasted velveeta for decades. At least that I know of. I remember the "flavor" as being similar if not exactly like the nasty "cheese like substance" Mcdonalds uses. In the 70s for some reason a popular color was called Harvest Gold for appliances/something? Gold for vehicles. My friends and I refered to this color as "Baby S**t". Velveeta! Eat Liquid Baby S**t Gold!

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EEEEts All so REEEdEEEculous


Posted By: Yutolia
Date Posted: 25 Aug 2012 at 8:36pm
Either that, or any time you see this commercial, you are reminded of the not-quite-glorious death of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Crassus#" rel="nofollow - Marcus Licinius Crassus :

Originally posted by Wikipedia Wikipedia wrote:

Subsequently Crassus' men, being near http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutiny" rel="nofollow - mutiny , demanded he http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parley" rel="nofollow - parley with the Parthians, who had offered to meet with him. Crassus, despondent at the death of his son http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Publius_Licinius_Crassus_%28son_of_triumvir%29" rel="nofollow - Publius in the battle, finally agreed to meet the Parthian general; however, when Crassus mounted a horse to ride to the Parthian camp for a peace negotiation, his junior officer Octavius suspected a Parthian trap and grabbed Crassus' horse by the bridle, instigating a sudden fight with the Parthians that left the Roman party dead, including Crassus. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Crassus#cite_note-13" rel="nofollow - [14] A story later emerged that, after Crassus' death, the Parthians poured molten gold into his mouth as a symbol of his thirst for wealth.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Crassus#cite_note-14" rel="nofollow -

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"Xbox Live is an online homophobia club for pre-teen Tourette’s sufferers." - Brockway, Cracked.com


Posted By: Pervis
Date Posted: 25 Aug 2012 at 11:54pm
I just saw it for the first time.  First off, those little helicopters are really cheaply made and trying to control them really sucks.  Secondly, he works at the mall in a kiosk...yeah, I'm real jealous of him. Ermm


Posted By: Big Momma
Date Posted: 26 Aug 2012 at 2:23am
I've always thought it smelled like vomit!Dead


Posted By: Ad nauseous
Date Posted: 26 Aug 2012 at 4:50am
A guy who sells helicopters TOY ones yep that'll be great on a resume...NOT!

What does flying TOY helicopters have to do with (I assume) stinky cheese.

Why the Censored would I want Velveeta cheese from a guy who flies toy helicopters???

This commercial is stupid. Thumbs Down




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One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off


Posted By: Moochamoocha
Date Posted: 27 Aug 2012 at 7:45am
Liquid gold? Looks more like liquid sh*t to me.

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http://www.sloganizer.net/en/" rel="nofollow">


Posted By: eribean
Date Posted: 27 Aug 2012 at 3:24pm
This stuff is why half the girls I know gained 20 pounds freshman year. It's like 600 calories, ay.

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"Oh, and just because I like humans, it doesn't mean that I like you personally. That's important to note."


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 27 Aug 2012 at 3:49pm
And that's without the crumbled bacon, sausage or hamgurger added in!!!! Tongue
 
 


-------------
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 27 Aug 2012 at 4:05pm
Originally posted by eribean eribean wrote:

This stuff is why half the girls I know gained 20 pounds freshman year. It's like 600 calories, ay.
 
While their boyfriends ate the Vulveeta.
 
 
 


Posted By: sgtrock21
Date Posted: 27 Aug 2012 at 4:12pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by eribean eribean wrote:

This stuff is why half the girls I know gained 20 pounds freshman year. It's like 600 calories, ay.
 
While their boyfriends ate the Vulveeta.
 
 
 
LOL

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EEEEts All so REEEdEEEculous


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 27 Aug 2012 at 4:17pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by eribean eribean wrote:

This stuff is why half the girls I know gained 20 pounds freshman year. It's like 600 calories, ay.
While their boyfriends ate the Vulveeta.
 
 
But only until the girls got too fat.
 
Then they droppd them for the slender girls who ddn't eat the VELveeta & started eating their Vulveeta.
 
 


-------------
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 27 Aug 2012 at 4:18pm
Thanks for the "LOL", Sarge.  I'd been wanting to get the word "Vulveeta" in here since the thread started, and I just got tired of waiting.
 
 


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 27 Aug 2012 at 4:31pm
I always called it "Smell-Feet-a".
 
Got any clever segues for that?
 
 
 
 


-------------
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 27 Aug 2012 at 4:34pm
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

I always called it "Smell-Feet-a".
 
Got any clever segues for that?
 
 
 
 
 
Your feet might smell like Velveeta.  But mine smell like a fine Brie.
 
 


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 27 Aug 2012 at 4:36pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Your feet might smell like Velveeta.  But mine smell like a fine Brie.
 
Limberger is prolly more like it.
 
 


-------------
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States


Posted By: eribean
Date Posted: 27 Aug 2012 at 4:51pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Thanks for the "LOL", Sarge.  I'd been wanting to get the word "Vulveeta" in here since the thread started, and I just got tired of waiting.
 

 

Well played, my friend.

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"Oh, and just because I like humans, it doesn't mean that I like you personally. That's important to note."


Posted By: Oldiesmann
Date Posted: 04 Sep 2012 at 9:17pm
Now the hardworking businessman who sells tropical fish and aquariums is eating Velveeta as well:



Surely anyone with the knowledge, patience, etc. to raise tropical fish has more sense than this. I also hope this doesn't convince people that they can just go out and buy a tropical fish without any research or knowledge on how to raise them.


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Michael "Oldiesmann" Eshom
Cincinnati, Ohio


Posted By: jerkylips
Date Posted: 04 Sep 2012 at 9:28pm
what's funny about this commercial is that up here in the land of dairy farms, most of the large operations have these huge blue tanks that look like short fat silos - that hold liquid manure used for fertilizer.  The name on the side (assuming it's the brand name for the tanks) is "Liquid Gold".  I tried to find a picture online but didnt' see one. 
 
Also, definitely funny to model yourself after a loser who works at the mall.   "After you get done flying your helicopter & eating velveeta, you can go smoke pot with your friends then back home to your mom's basement"


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Thethelia thinkth my thoriathith ith thexthy


Posted By: Ad nauseous
Date Posted: 04 Sep 2012 at 9:48pm
Originally posted by jerkylips jerkylips wrote:

what's funny about this commercial is that up here in the land of dairy farms, most of the large operations have these huge blue tanks that look like short fat silos - that hold liquid manure used for fertilizer.  The name on the side (assuming it's the brand name for the tanks) is "Liquid Gold".  I tried to find a picture online but didnt' see one. 
 
Also, definitely funny to model yourself after a loser who works at the mall.   "After you get done flying your helicopter & eating velveeta, you can go smoke pot with your friends then back home to your mom's basement"


WOW just wow Stern SmileLOL


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One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off


Posted By: Dirtdog
Date Posted: 07 Sep 2012 at 8:20pm
The first few things I notice about this dumbass commercial is how unrealistic it is.

First-who eats crappy macaroni and cheese in a bowl walking around at a mall?

Second-This annoying douchebag loser making $6.25 an hour selling RC Helicopters at the mall isn't dating a hottie like "Kayla the lotion girl" No f**king way...sorry dude ain't happening.

Third-Where and why is his buddy "Marco" boiling hot water on a stove at the mall for this douche's mac and cheese?

I hate this f**king commercial, and velveeta is processed liguid sh*t!


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 07 Sep 2012 at 8:37pm
They make it sound like those mall zeroes are all a tight-knit little "gang" of hipsters that hang out & socialize together when they're not at their dead end loser jobs.
 
In the world of reality, they would never even speak to each other.
 
Probably wouldn't even be working at those places longer than two months before they each found something better & hauled ass.
 
 


-------------
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States


Posted By: EMCEE
Date Posted: 07 Sep 2012 at 9:58pm
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

I always called it "Smell-Feet-a".
 
Got any clever segues for that?
 
 
 
 


I always thought this crap smelled like catfish stink bait.  Not the best smell for a product.  Yet people eat it.  Dead


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Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

- Mark Twain



Posted By: Adznem
Date Posted: 07 Sep 2012 at 10:22pm
Yukkkkk!!!!!!!!.Dead


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 07 Sep 2012 at 10:25pm
I actually kind of like the stuff, although I haven't bought it in years, mainly because it's too expensive.
 
One of my college roomates used to melt it over hot popcorn & stir it in.
 
Made these nice, gooey, cheesy popcorn balls.
 
I liked to eat it with Ruffles potato chips.
 
 


-------------
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States


Posted By: EMCEE
Date Posted: 07 Sep 2012 at 10:29pm
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

I actually kind of like the stuff, although I haven't bought it in years, mainly because it's too expensive.
 
One of my college roomates used to melt it over hot popcorn & stir it in.
 
Made these nice, gooey, cheesy popcorn balls.
 
I liked to eat it with Ruffles potato chips.
 
 


I guess it's like how certain people can eat the stinky cheeses, like limburger.  Yuck.  I can't get past the reek.


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Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

- Mark Twain



Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 07 Sep 2012 at 11:25pm
Naaaahhhhh.... Velveeta doesn't stink.
 
It's just yellow American cheese that's a little softer than other block cheeses, like cheddar.
 
Maybe a little too salty tasting, but other than that, it tastes just like the cheese you get on your burger at McDonald's or Wendy's etc.
 
 


-------------
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States


Posted By: DKS
Date Posted: 07 Sep 2012 at 11:31pm
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:


It's just yellow American cheese that's a little softer than other block cheeses, like cheddar.
 


I can eat Velveeta(I only do very rarely) and I can definitely tell the difference between it and American cheese...


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"I see the sadness in their eyes
Melancholy in their cries
Devoid of all the passion
The human spirit cannot die"


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 08 Sep 2012 at 12:05am
Originally posted by DKS DKS wrote:

Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:


It's just yellow American cheese that's a little softer than other block cheeses, like cheddar.
 


I can eat Velveeta(I only do very rarely) and I can definitely tell the difference between it and American cheese...
 
There's a few kinds of American Cheese.  There's the stuff that's kinda rubbery (like Kraft slices and Velveeta) and there's the stuff that's more like other cheeses.  The latter can be sliced paper thin, while the rubbery stuff can't.
 
I think Land o' Lakes makes the non-rubbery kind.  I've only gotten it at deli counters.  It's really good.
 
We talked about this a few years ago.
http://www.commercialsihate.com/kraft-the-american-cheese_topic6454.html" rel="nofollow - http://www.commercialsihate.com/kraft-the-american-cheese_topic6454.html
 
 


Posted By: PaWolf
Date Posted: 08 Sep 2012 at 1:08am
Confused...well...if one just isn't up to 'eating liquid gold', maybe they can bathe in it.
 


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X               <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike


Posted By: zerocool
Date Posted: 08 Sep 2012 at 1:17am
Velveeta tastes like plastic... 'nuff said.


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 08 Sep 2012 at 1:18am
Originally posted by DKS DKS wrote:


Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:


It's just yellow American cheese that's a little softer than other block cheeses, like cheddar.
 


I can eat Velveeta(I only do very rarely) and I can definitely tell the difference between it and American cheese...


I think Velveeta tastes a bit saltier than other American cheese.



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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 08 Sep 2012 at 2:40am
Velveeta ingredients:
 
milk, water, milkfat, whey, whey protein concentrate, sodium phosphate, milk protein concentrate, alginate, sodium citrate, apocarotenal (color), annatto (color), enzymes, benzoate, cheese culture
 
Velveeta has 410 mg sodium/oz and 6 grams of fat.
 
 
 
American cheese (Land o' Lakes) ingredients:
 
Cultured Pasteurized Milk And Skim Milk, Buttermilk, Milkfat, Salt, Contains Less Than 2% of Sodium Phosphate, Tricalcium Phosphate, Lactic Acid, Milk Protein Concentrate, Artificial Color, Enzymes.
 
American cheese has 400 mg sodium/oz and 9 grams of fat.
 
 
 
 


Posted By: PaWolf
Date Posted: 08 Sep 2012 at 3:08am
http://nikkyhall.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/funny-pictures-cat-asks-who-throws-cheese1.jpg

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X               <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike


Posted By: PaWolf
Date Posted: 08 Sep 2012 at 3:18am

Cheese making

Although not a common practice, the addition of urine to cheese-making has been known to make a richer, more piquant cheese, highly sought after by those who've tasted it.

Cry...being a cheese lover and having sampled many kinds from all over the earth, finding out about this now makes me sort of want to go crawl into a corner and make like a frog and croak.
 
~~~
 
 


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X               <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike


Posted By: TheBoomMan
Date Posted: 09 Sep 2012 at 1:53am
At least the dominant black guy is praising him and the girl is dating him.

No more white guy being deceived, no more white girl being cool, and no more dominant black guy dissing the white guy.


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I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.


Posted By: TheBoomMan
Date Posted: 09 Sep 2012 at 2:44pm
I can't stand Kraft products. Their "American" cheese tastes nasty. Are people too poor to go buy REAL cheese slices at the Deli?

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I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.


Posted By: DKS
Date Posted: 09 Sep 2012 at 3:58pm
Originally posted by TheBoomMan TheBoomMan wrote:

I can't stand Kraft products. Their "American" cheese tastes nasty. Are people too poor to go buy REAL cheese slices at the Deli?


When the "real" cheese costs around 50% more, and considering the average person isn't going to be just buying cheese, I'd say yeah, a lot of them are not willing to spend the extra money on Deli cheese.

I prefer deli, but when it comes down to $5(and generally an extra wait) for a pound of deli cheese or $2.50 for the same amount of Borden(which I prefer to Kraft), I'm usually gonna get the Borden.


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"I see the sadness in their eyes
Melancholy in their cries
Devoid of all the passion
The human spirit cannot die"


Posted By: Hezadancer
Date Posted: 09 Sep 2012 at 10:31pm
Does velveeta really NEED to advertise? Seems like the demographic they're pandering to is already a core velveeta eater. I haven't met a college kid who DIDN'T have a box on hand. Stop trying to make it something cooler than it really is. It's f**king simple mac and cheese. It's not cool at all, it's convenient.

Also no one grows up wanting to be an annoying ass mall kiosk barker. Let's not romanticize it.


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It's ok, I'm in marketing!


Posted By: Hootman
Date Posted: 09 Sep 2012 at 11:39pm
This may be the 1950's kid in me, but....a Velveeta, mayo, mustard, and white bread sandwich is one of my ultimate comfort foods.  


Posted By: PaWolf
Date Posted: 10 Sep 2012 at 12:14am
Originally posted by Hootman Hootman wrote:

This may be the 1950's kid in me, but....a Velveeta, mayo, mustard, and white bread sandwich is one of my ultimate comfort foods.  
Wink...oh yea - found this photo of you back then...weren't you just supposed to wash your hands before lunch? 


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X               <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 10 Sep 2012 at 1:46am
Originally posted by Hootman Hootman wrote:

This may be the 1950's kid in me, but....a Velveeta, mayo, mustard, and white bread sandwich is one of my ultimate comfort foods.  
 
On Fridays in Catholic school 1960s, my mother made me either a tuna sandwich on white or a cheese with mayo on white sandwich.  Those were the days when Catholics couldn't eat meat on Fridays.
 
Now I'm wondering what Sister Domitian would've done had I brought in a liverwurst sandwich on a Friday.  Perhaps a good beating would've been in store.  LOL
 
 


Posted By: MrTim
Date Posted: 10 Sep 2012 at 4:36am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by Hootman Hootman wrote:

This may be the 1950's kid in me, but....a Velveeta, mayo, mustard, and white bread sandwich is one of my ultimate comfort foods.  
 
On Fridays in Catholic school 1960s, my mother made me either a tuna sandwich on white or a cheese with mayo on white sandwich.  Those were the days when Catholics couldn't eat meat on Fridays.
 
Now I'm wondering what Sister Domitian would've done had I brought in a liverwurst sandwich on a Friday.  Perhaps a good beating would've been in store.  LOL
 
 
 
I can imagine you screaming in your defense "It's not liverwurst, it's Vegemite!"  LOL
 
(You'd probably have gotten away with it until she took a bite....  LOL )


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http://mrtim1k.blogspot.com/ - WKRP closing theme lyrics HERE!


Posted By: PaWolf
Date Posted: 10 Sep 2012 at 2:49pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by Hootman Hootman wrote:

This may be the 1950's kid in me, but....a Velveeta, mayo, mustard, and white bread sandwich is one of my ultimate comfort foods.  
 
On Fridays in Catholic school 1960s, my mother made me either a tuna sandwich on white or a cheese with mayo on white sandwich.  Those were the days when Catholics couldn't eat meat on Fridays.
 
Now I'm wondering what Sister Domitian would've done had I brought in a liverwurst sandwich on a Friday.  Perhaps a good beating would've been in store.  LOL
 
 
DeadCryThanks for the nightmares...yea - I remember the 'Tuna Fridays', too.
What made it worse was I went to a poor Catholic school that didn't have any AC or fans and they got really hot and stuffy at either the end of the school year, or the  beginning of the next.
This made those Tuna-on-Wonderbread smeared with mayo sammies pretty disgusting by lunch. Didn't go together very well with those stinkin' room-temperature cartons of expired milk they used hand out and MAKE us drink. If you didn't have to get a hall pass from a penguin to go puke by 2, you ended up with the 'charley tuna belches' for the rest of the afternoon.
 


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X               <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike


Posted By: insanity213
Date Posted: 05 Oct 2012 at 5:00pm
I was about to make a thread on this.  How many Censoreding times a day do they have to air this piece of sh*t???

Not to mention, the product looks flat out disgusting.





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