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Pop-Tarts are now sexual beings

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 11:59pm
"Cherry Poptart is a slutty party girl in a parody of Archie's Riverdale."
 
Yeah, I've got a couple of those early 80's porn comics around somewhere....  LOL
 
The recipe for making your own poptart dough, here: Wink
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Umbrella Girl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 12:38am
Don't like frosting on Pop Tarts - it's just overkill.  Also, they must be toasted!

Maybe they tasted better when we were kids, because back then we just didn't know any better!

I could go for a toasted strawberry tart right now, though!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 12:40am
I'm too sexy for Pop-Tarts.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Velveeta Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 3:17pm
STRAWBERRY TOASTED!  and i thought i was the only one...  Ahhh...toasted just enough so that it doesn't fall apart as you try to get it out of the toaster.  

Frosting?  That's for amateurs!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 4:16pm
Originally posted by Velveeta Velveeta wrote:

Frosting?  That's for amateurs!
 
We "pros" know.... unfrosted ala mode is where it's at, baby!!!! Tongue
 
 
Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 4:36pm
Some flavors I'd like to see in Pop Tarts are apricot, pear, orange and lemon.
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 5:24pm
LEMON!!!!!!!! TongueTongueTongueTongue
 
Let's start a petition drive NOW!!!!! Thumbs Up
Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 5:25pm
And CHEESECAKE!!!!!! TongueTongueTongueTongue
Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 5:47pm
Lemon cheesecake!
 
Instead of putting so much effort into decorative frosting for kiddies, they oughta come up with more flavors for their fillings.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 6:01pm
So basically, y'all want pop tarts to be the pastry version of Jelly Bellies?
 
I like it :D
 
I haven't had a pop tart in ages. The last time was from a snack machine at a motel.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 6:21pm
DOUBLE-STUFF POP TARTS!!!!!
 
Lemon & pineapple cheesecake flavored!!!! TongueTongueTongue
 
 
Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 8:19pm
alright, I say The POPTART ECLAIR.  custard filling with rich chocolate topping.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 8:41pm
Originally posted by Codtaro Codtaro wrote:

So basically, y'all want pop tarts to be the pastry version of Jelly Bellies?
 
I like it :D
 
 
 
...except maybe for those disgusting Jelly Bellies they came out with a few years ago---snot, dirt, vomit flavors, etc.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 9:04pm
Oh, they'll release those. They'll just call them gluten free sugar free fat free :P
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 9:22pm
Originally posted by Codtaro Codtaro wrote:

Oh, they'll release those. They'll just call them gluten free sugar free fat free :P
 
Well, maybe the dirt-flavored ones or the snot-flavored ones, but the vomit-flavored ones might very well contain fat and gluten and sugar.  Just depends what's in the vomit base they use.  Could be from a regurge'd McDonalds cheeseburger and chocolate shake.
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Apr 2012 at 12:18am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by Codtaro Codtaro wrote:

Oh, they'll release those. They'll just call them gluten free sugar free fat free :P
 
Well, maybe the dirt-flavored ones or the snot-flavored ones, but the vomit-flavored ones might very well contain fat and gluten and sugar.  Just depends what's in the vomit base they use.  Could be from a regurge'd McDonalds cheeseburger and chocolate shake.
 
 
 
AngryNO CHOCO-CHEEBURGER VOMIT, dammit!
Just use some o'that 'Vanilla Rice Pudding Vomit', mentioned in another thread.
Rermember: think 'steamy, slimey, streamy'; it has to go down as easy as it is going to come right back up there, 'MamaBird'...
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Apr 2012 at 2:16am
Vanilla rice pudding mixed with cream corn would provide the smell and texture of real vomit, Pa.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Apr 2012 at 3:19am
>.> what would it say if I admitted I now have a craving for BOTH cream corn and rice pudding.
 
If I get my hands on 'em, thanks to you lot it'll be both satisfying and horrifying at the same time.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Umbrella Girl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Apr 2012 at 4:34pm
I would LOVE lemon Pop Tarts!  Pineapple, too!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Apr 2012 at 4:05am
With vanilla ice cream on top!!!!
 
Let's start a petition drive!!!!
 
Flood the switchboard with calls!!!!
 
Kidnap the CEO & hold him till we get what we want..... LEMON & PINEAPPLE POP TARTS!!!! AngryAngryAngry
 
 
 
Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote zippyjet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Apr 2012 at 10:46am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

 
Maybe they should date Katy Perry.  She's also a pop tart, and, in fact, looks remarkably like them.
 
 
 

 No picture of Katy Perry is complete unless you show her long toned gorgeous gams! This Pop Tart commercial is a step up from those awful animated ones that preceded this interesting one. Wow, now Right Said Fred and "I'm Too Sexy" may make a comeback. Go figure. The animated sucky commercials featured kids with big heads and stupid dancing where especially the fey looking boy jumps out of bed and blows past the bathroom (no teeth brushing or bathing) and slides down the rail for Pop Tarts. 
I approve this message.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2012 at 9:09pm
^One ugly talentless worthless never-should-have-been-born tart per topic, please.
 
Wink
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2012 at 9:17pm
Fat legs.
 
Fat ass.
 
Fat head.
 
 
Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2012 at 9:24pm

I thought it was the other [take my wonderful description from above and place it here] that had the penis.

 
Oh, you meant the OTHER kind of fat head...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DirtyD79 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Apr 2012 at 12:54am
I refuse to have sex with pastry.
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