MY ANNUAL AWARDS! |
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regulus
Junior Executive Joined: 17 Apr 2008 Location: Nova Catacumba Status: Offline Points: 4436 |
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Posted: 01 Jan 2015 at 7:11pm |
Happy New Year to my fellow CIHers! ANOTHER year has gone by. I've taken a look at this past year, and it's time to "Call it as I've seen it" On behalf of the International Association of Little (Stinkers0 I am proud to announce the:
2014 Annual Awards Movie of the Year: Heaven is for Real AND Frozen A Dead Heat, the first since 2002! Funniest Movie: Bedtime Stories "Tail-End Movie: Aquamarine Buttheads of the Year: Rioters in Fergison, MO and other cities F.U.B.A.R. of the year - Sony attacked by hackers DOH! Award: Retailers who decided to open on Thanksgiving (They didn't make as much money as they predicted - Serves them right IMHO) Dishonorable Mention: The Samsula, Florida Christmas Parade. They decided to have a new route, and the result was CHAOS. Entrants didn't know where to begin or finish, Floats actually passed by in BOTH directions, and some went down the wrong road! Fireworks Awards Gold - Altamonte Springs Silver - Edgewater Bronze - Orange City Parades Gold - Port Orange Silver - Edgewater (Christmas) and New Smyrna Beach ("Bling Bling Day(Thats Mardi Gras for those of you in Rio Linda!)) A Dead Heat! Bronze - Holly Hill @$$-Kickers of the year! - The GOP (Dems got this award six years ago!) Guts Award (The Award for REAL Americans) - Those Merchants who REFUSED to open on Thanksgiving, even though they were told to be open or else! Sammy's Little (Stinkers) of the Year - Men's Award - Paul Hogan (First Republican Governor of Mariland sinc Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt!) Woman's Award - Mona Davis (Little League Pitcher who pitched a shutout during their World Series!). International Association of Little (Stinkers) PROCLAMATIONS 1. 1992 Little Stinker of the year. Yurida Canseco (Professional Name Yuri) - Mexican Pop and Christmas Singer. During my 1992 Visit to Mexico City one of her songs, Es La Vida (Translation - This is the Life) was receiving Extensive airtime on Mexican Radio Stations (You couldn't turn a corner without hearing this song blaring out somewhere!). Three months later I visited San Antonio, Texas and found this song receiving a lot of airtime on their Spanish-Language Stations. I found out thuis song was the theme and anthem for the 1992 World's Fair in Seville, Spoain, and this singer got the honor of singing it during the opening ceremonies at this fair. I.A.L.S. has decided to graft her as one of the 1992 Little (Stinkers) of the year. 2. USA and International Little (Stinkers) of the 20th Century As most of you know, on Y2K Night (That's December 31 for those of you in Rio Linda!) In addition to the yearly awards awards were given for the 20th Century. Roger Woodward (The boy who swam over Niagara Falls (Accidently) received the USA Award while Flavio DaSilva (the boy who "starred' in a LIFE Magazin "Sob Story" about poverty in Third-World Nations) received the International Award. This year it was brought to my attention that FOUR people should have gotten these awards! (Roger Woodward and Flavio DaSilva were MALE, What about the other half of the human race, the females. DOH! 15 years ago an error was made, I.A.L.S. decided to make a CORRECTION. Roger Woodward and Flavio DaSilva hare regarded to be the MEN'S Little (Stinkers) of the 20th Century) For the WOMAN'S Little (Stinkers) of the 20th Century we dug deep into the files of history and here are the results: The USA Woman's Little (Stinker) of the 20th Century goes to a young lady who has the honor of being the first person to EARN over $1,000,000.00 a year BEFORE her Birthday! Sadly this woman passed away earlier last year. Because of this it is the decision of I.A.L.S. to give the award posthumously to Shirley Temple. Her International Counterpart is most likely known for an infamous photo taken of her "streaking" down a road in Vietnam after village was accidently bombed (NO, this is NOT what got her the title, it's what happened to her 14 years later that qualified her. She grew up and fell in love and got married. There are two stories about what happened next, but both have the same endings. They are: A. She got married in Vietnam, and the Vietnamese, Soviet Union and Cuba decided to have the couple spend their Honeymoon in Cuba. B. She was attending School in Cuba, where she got married. Once again the three Commie Governments decided to have the Couple Honeymoon in RUSSIA. Both versions had the plane they were on having to land to refuel in Canada. Some kind of delay (Weather or Mechanical) occurred, and the passengers were allowed to get off and hobnob in the Concourse. The Couple did this, then MADE A BEELINE to Customs, where they asked for (and received) Political Asylum! It is the Decision of I.A.L.S. to award the Woman's International Little (Stinker) to Kim Phuc. Congratulations to our Award Winners! What? Over? Did You'd say Over? NOTHING is over until we decide it is, and it's not over! - J. Belushi. 3. Little (Stinker) Day. When it was Discovered Flavio DaSilva Birthday fell on April 14 I.A.L.S. decided to designate that day Little (Stinker) Day. Get this, Both Women's Little (Stinkers) of the Century Award winners also have April Birthdays! Kim Phuc on April 2 and Shirley Temple on April 23! There on behalf of I.A.L.S. I am proud to designate the month of April to be: Little Stinker Month! PS. I will NOT use any of these lady's Faces as an Avatar (ESPECIALLY the International one - If I did that one I'd certainly get tossed into the Booby Hatch!). Once again Happy New Years Day. The slate has been wiped clean, so until December 31 anything can (and most likely will) happen! |
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Offline Points: 63906 |
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I might've missed something. Seems a lot happened in 2014. |
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