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I started this site in 1997 as a place to rant
about the worst ads on TV.
Here at CIH you can read reviews
and watch videos of terrible ads,
find out what makes them so awful
(and why they could be better)
and vent your frustrations on our message board.
Enjoy,
Nathan Alexander
nathan @ commercialsihate.com
You rush from the refrigerator back to the couch, fingers scrambling for the remote, finding the MUTE button and pressing it, hard. It doesn't work - you point the remote at the TV screen, snapping your elbow as you fling your arm straight. You press the button again, hearing the creak of plastic as you squeeze the remote with all of your force. Mute. And then silence. Relief. That Billy Mays feeling..
Only Billy Mays could make you feel that way. You know exactly the words he's about to scream at you. You've heard them during every commercial break, all weekend. But dammit if you have to hear that man shout at you one more time, you're going to lose it. It's got to be the mute button. Right now. Before you finish rinsing the grapes you just got from the fridge. Before you finish knocking ice cubes out of the ice tray. Before you answer the doorbell. That infernal shouting must be silenced.
Orange Glo. Oxi-Clean. The Awesome Auger. Billy Mays sold products with commercials so annoying, I once had to create a whole section for them on our message board. Of all of the topics on our message board, with all the annoying ads from Geico Insurance, Head-On, CapitalOne and all those boner medications, Billy Mays is the subject that came up more often than any other. People wanted to know, "Why is this man shouting at me? Why? What did I do?".
Today once again we are asking ourselves why. Billy Mays has passed away at the age of 50. If there is an afterlife, there's finally someone in heaven loud enough to tell us about it. "Billy Mays here, from the afterlife! It's real, folks!"
We'll miss you, Billy Mays. We'll miss the open palmed hand gestures that say "How could you not be amazed by this product?". We'll miss the impossibly black beard and endless enthusiam. But most of all we'll miss the deafening output of your galvanized steel vocal cords. The voice that launched a million mute buttons. Rest in Peace, Billy Mays.
Nathan
Commercials I Hate.com
Leave your comments about the passing of Billy Mays on our message board.
Every year right here on Commercials I Hate, ad reviews are posted live during the game, with live discussions on the Commercials I Hate Forums!
The fine tradition of Commercials I Hate continues on YouTube, in hilarious video installments.
Okay, people. We've been doing this since we were four years old.
It's time to learn HOW to STAND in line.
Nobody likes to stand in line. I'm not asking you to like it. Just do it.
Please. If there people in line when you arrive, please take a moment to notice
what direction the line is pointing.
Now stand behind the last person in line. No, no, no, wait. Not over there.
Come back over here. Thaaat's right.
You want to position yourself so that the person in front of you
is between you and the person in front of them.
See? Now you're in a line. You're not standing three feet away and off to one side.
No one needs to ask you if you're in line. You are a living breathing part of the line. Isn't that better?
Okay now wait a moment. I can see you're excited about finally being a part of the line.
But hey - not so close!
The person in front of you doesn't need to feel the twin blasts of breath
from your nostrils on the back of their neck.
They also do not need to feel the cold metallic kiss
of
the buckle on your purse or belt. Back off a little bit.
Hey, not so far! You only need to back off a little.
Now, there's room for one or two more people in front of you.
Everyone will ask you if you're in line or not! Don't you want to be a part of the line?
Step forward, so that you are 12 to 18 inches from the person in front of you.
And here's the key - when the person in front of you steps forward - you step forward, too.
Who are these morons that leave all the space in the line? Scoot up!
Please don't make me ask if you're in line or not. Just get in the fucking line. Please.
