I am tired of ASKING. "Are you in line?"

Okay, people. We've been doing this since we were four years old.
It's time to learn HOW to STAND in line.
Nobody likes to stand in line. I'm not asking you to like it. Just do it.

Please. If there are people in line when you arrive, please take a moment to notice what direction the line is pointing in.
Now stand behind the last person in line. No, no, no, wait. Not over there. Come back over here. Thaaat's right.
You want to position yourself so that the person in front of you is between you and the person in front of them.

See? Now you're in a line. You're not standing three feet away and off to one side.
No one needs to ask you if you're in line. You are a living breathing part of the line. Isn't that better?

Okay now wait a moment. I can see you're excited about finally being a part of the line. But hey - not so close!
The person in front of you doesn't need to feel the twin blasts of breath from your nostrils on the back of their neck.
They also do not need to feel the cold metallic kiss of the buckle on your purse or belt. Back off a little bit.

Hey, not so far! You only need to back off a little. Now there's room for one or two more people in front of you.
Everyone will ask you if you're in line or not! Don't you want to be a part of the line?
Step forward, so that you are 12 to 18 inches from the person in front of you.
And here's the key - when the person in front of you steps forward - you step forward, too.

Who are these morons that leave all the space in the line? Scoot up!
Please don't make me ask if you're in line or not. Just get in the f**king line. Please.

A few years ago, I was in line at the supermarket (with one item) when some tool ahead of me got out of line and (I thought) headed toward the next (empty)register.  I moved ahead in line. Turns out, he was actually stopping at the Krispy Kreme bin to get a donut for his whiny kids. Then, the 'Self-absorbed family' came back, and the guy (one of those 'non-cancerous Lance Armstrong looking' guys, with almost no hair and an 'intense, F.U. look' got all pissed off at me, and started lecturing his little bastards about how I was an example of a 'bad person', and they shouldn't be like me.

I hate wheeling my cart into a supermarket aisle and see the belt loaded with items yet the customer is gone back into the the store looking for something or whatever.

When I worked at a supermarket years ago, when I would open a checkout, I would yell out "Register # is now open" and then let everybody fend for themselves. Every now and then, I would get somebody who would get pissed off because I did not call out or pull the next person in line.   This is where I explain to them the "Yougo game"

I know a good prank for standing in line!  I would do this all the time at Disney World.  See, most of the lines there move in big chunks at a time because they're loading several people into each vehicle that comes by.  So normally you'd stand for a while, then walk forward a whole bunch, then stand still again, over and over.  But I would walk slowly instead, taking very small steps, so that by the time people in front of me start moving again, I'll have just caught up to them.  If you do this with the right timing, you will never have to stop walking!  People behind you may get mad, but just explain, you're not really holding them back that far; you are just evening out the rate at which you move.  You will still get there on time, okay.

Skibibbles wrote: Another good one, just let a "Silent but deadly" one rip. With a crowd that big, nobody will ever know who did it, but you will get a chuckle out of reactions you get.

A friend of mine liked to leave boogers on the railings.


Back on topic....
The store where I work has a separate counter away from the checkout registers.  It's where the One Hour photos are processed but a good deal of customers like to use it as an express lane even though there are plenty of checkouts open.  The line issue comes in when I'm away doing busy work and a line forms at the counter.  This is in spite of the fact that there's no one at the counter to help them and the displays on the pinpad and screen say "Checkstand Closed".

The other day, I was getting dinner at Popeye's. I walked into the restaurant and saw these two guys standing off to the side against the wall and a woman standing against the other wall. Confused, I look back and forth between them, wondering which line to go on. It turned out that neither one of them were in line! The woman was waiting for her food and the two guys only wanted to ask if they were hiring. 

The other thing that I hate is when a whole bunch of people are standing in one long line waiting for a register when there's a sign that states "DO NOT FORM ONE LINE". I used to work at a gourmet supermarket and I hated when this would happen. Hello! There are five registers with cashiers at each one. Pick one, stand in the line and get out! Thank goodness those days are gone.

a diferent Mark wrote: Skibibbles wrote: Another good one, just let a "Silent but deadly" one rip. With a crowd that big, nobody will ever know who did it, but you will get a chuckle out of reactions you get. A friend of mine liked to leave boogers on the railings. Back on topic.... The store where I work has a separate counter away from the checkout registers.  It's where the One Hour photos are processed but a good deal of customers like to use it as an express lane even though there are plenty of checkouts open.  The line issue comes in when I'm away doing busy work and a line forms at the counter.  This is in spite of the fact that there's no one at the counter to help them and the displays on the pinpad and screen say "Checkstand Closed".

I really like it when places have coral lines.  It completely eliminates having to gamble on which line is going to be shorter.

On my job we have a call queue and I've always spelled it that way in reference to it.  For some reason I didn't think it was spelled that way for the lyrics of that song. 

But if we stand closer together, we'll take up less room!  It's more efficient that way!

I heard wolf bites can hurt pretty bad!

Speaking of lines.  We have Stop & Shop where I live.  The bank I use is in Stop & Shop.  So when I try to use by bank card as a credit card, it refuses to let me.  Which means I have to use it as a debit card.