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MrTim
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From the people who brought you the Chocolate Orange:
https://boingboing.net/2021/12/07/chocolate-orange-mayonnaise-exists-and-you-can-win-a-jar-right-now.html?utm_source=feedly&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=chocolate-orange-mayonnaise-exists-and-you-can-win-a-jar-right-now |
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MrTim
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Foul-mouthed fowl wins hearts of elementary school children; Uptight adults don't "get it"
https://www.oregonlive.com/trending/2021/12/friendly-foul-mouthed-crow-befriends-entire-oregon-elementary-school-before-state-police-are-called-in.html |
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MrTim
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D-List celebrity selling her farts in a jar for big money; Everybody else trying to do the same thing not even getting a whiff of interest
https://torontosun.com/entertainment/celebrity/sweet-smell-of-success-90-day-fiance-star-sells-her-farts-for-45k-a-jar?fbclid=IwAR3JEPg5q0jNAXy1R9ZP-YVvmLe6RxqKhMIflMVpYug4ixD9Rc0VdKngLgw That kind of income should be really taxable... |
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MrTim
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Despite Covid restrictions, memorial services to be held at Nakatomi Plaza; Victims still remembered 33 years after Christmas terrorist attack
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MrTim
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Contact tracers advise to have your dog's poo tested for Covid; Health experts desperate for any information for tracking the Omicron variant outbreak
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MrTim
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Government spokesmouth is having serious credibility issues; Survey finds that people trust Dr. Zachary Smith from Lost in Space more than they do Dr. Fauci
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MrTim
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Breaking News:
More on this story as it develops |
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MrTim
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Christmas burglaries up this year, mostly copies of the Star Wars Holiday Special; Main suspect is George Lucas, who is stealing back bootleg copies of the TV movie "to bury this cat turd forever"
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MrTim
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Facebook's Meta just got really weird-er: You can slip on VR goggles and VR gloves, then "grope" someone by just
walking up to their avatar and using your virtual "hands" to squeeze their
virtual "breasts" or "butt"
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/woman-claims-she-was-virtually-groped-while-inside-metas-virtual-reality-metaverse (Best to buy Facebook stock before they roll out VR sex, because then billions of people will be signing up for it...) |
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MrTim
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Survey finds that everybody is happy that 2021 is almost over; Most people found that drinking heavily to get through the year helped, but not enough
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MrTim
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Sadly, unusual New Years celebration injuries are now rather usual; Lighting fireworks off in the buttcrack still the leading cause of a visit to the ER
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MrTim
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Canada on the way to becoming one of the most locked-down countries in the world, even has a nationwide 10pm curfew to protect the people; Most think it is because of Covid, but Canadian officials won't confirm that the real reason is the alarming increase of rapes committed by moose
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MrTim
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Statistics show that the first babies born after a wedding are usually born 1 or 2 months early; Subsequent babies go the full 9 month term
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MrTim
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Another sign of a bad winter this year: Cows stuck indoors for winter are getting virtual reality goggles to feel like they're outside
https://bityl.co/AR8w |
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MrTim
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Bob Saget, 65, dies at Orlando hotel; Guests, staff say his ghost now haunts the room and makes filthy jokes about the people who stay in it
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MrTim
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Are you a kid with cancer? No Happy Meals for you!
https://thepostmillennial.com/ronald-mcdonald-house-to-evict-families-who-are-not-vaccinated |
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MrTim
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Huge winter storm sweeping towards East coast; Nude beaches expected to be closed for a week
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MrTim
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It's true, tofu tastes like chicken; Colonel Sanders trying to suck up to the vegan market segment
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/kfc-launches-plant-based-chicken-in-usa/ |
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MrTim
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Man involved in attempted robbery of gun sale in North Pole, Alaska, was killed on North Santa Claus Lane; Fat guy with white beard, dressed in red suit, claims it was self defense
https://sylg1.wordpress.com/2022/01/17/here-comes-shooty-claus/ |
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MrTim
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M&M ads to get woker and lamer; Famed characters are getting modern makeovers and will have more "nuanced and globally inclusive personalities"
https://news.yahoo.com/m-ms-characters-become-more-144108540.html (Where's a facepalm emoticon when you need one...?) |
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MrTim
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Olympic athletes getting bum deal; Chinese gov't giving them all a surprise greeting when they arrive for the Winter games
https://www.the-sun.com/news/4512129/china-anal-swabs-covid-mandatory-winter-olympics/?utm_medium=browser_notifications&utm_source=pushly (If I was an Olympic athlete, I'd drop out, sponsorships and potential medals be damned...) |
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MrTim
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Does your Wi-Fi suck? Let our experts show you how to boost your reception! For cheap!
https://www.makeuseof.com/tag/how-to-make-a-wifi-antenna-out-of-a-pringles-can-nb/ |
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MrTim
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Old music is stomping New music's ass; Old songs now represent 70 percent of the U.S. music market, and the new-music market is shrinking, even deaf people can't stand to listen to it any more
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/01/old-music-killing-new-music/621339/ |
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MrTim
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Washington Redskins change their name to the more bland Washington Commanders; But, most people think they are a joke, and call them the DC Comics
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MrTim
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Whoopi Goldberg's co-hosts on The View, Sunny Hostin, Joy Behar and Ana Navarro -- are furious that she was suspended; No mention of a hunger strike in support
(I don't think it'd last an hour... ) |
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