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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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Angry McPisseron View Drop Down
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Formerly AngryMcPisseron

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angry McPisseron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Aug 2014 at 12:50am
Millions tune in to the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, "The Big Goodbye" and now spell 'knife' with an 'N'.

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Sandra View Drop Down
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Donathan

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sandra Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Aug 2014 at 11:22am
Kim Kardashian Is Actually An Alien! Evidence Proves that Kim Kardashian was born on Jupiter!
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Formerly Codtaro

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Aug 2014 at 1:17pm
^Is that why she smells of ammonia?
Banana!
BANANA!!
BANANA!!!
BANANA!!
Banana!
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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Aug 2014 at 4:08am

Really, Sandra.  Jupiter?  Are you sure she didn't come out of Uranus?

LOL

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aka ron View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Aug 2014 at 9:06am
^^LOLLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Aug 2014 at 4:34am
Annual infestation of flying squid plaguing highways heavy again this year;  Motorists urged to close car windows, cyclists to wear visors
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Aug 2014 at 4:38am
This week in Paleontology:  New species of extinct South American "terror birds" discovered exceeded ferocity of any others;  Like it's namesake, phorusrhacidae donalduckus didn't wear pants
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Aug 2014 at 4:13am
Schools to only give participation trophies for district and state soccer tournaments;  "Nobody ever scores, so there is no need to award a championship trophy"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Aug 2014 at 4:26am
Study shows greater chance of being born an albino if parents had sex in a swimming pool or wore bleached underwear;  Not getting enough sunlight in the womb during pregnancy also a factor
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Aug 2014 at 4:17am
ISIS implies threat to Chicago;  But says they "won't enter city because there are so many illegal guns there and we'd get shot!"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Aug 2014 at 4:15am
Shaken, not stirred, please:  After massive earthquake, CA wine producers switching to martinis
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Aug 2014 at 4:24am
Brangelina ties the knot in France;  Divorce lawyers start betting pool on how long it will last
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Sep 2014 at 4:33am
Feminists at international convention unanimously agree that oral sex is the best of all;  "Talking about sex is more satisfying than a disgusting physical act" says spokesbeing
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Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know....

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Sep 2014 at 4:48am
Originally posted by MrTim MrTim wrote:

Feminists at international convention unanimously agree that oral sex is the best of all;  "Talking about sex is more satisfying than a disgusting physical act" says spokesbeing
ConfusedMay I suggest that was said passionately and someone got a real lickin' from that mouthful-of-words!
X               <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Sep 2014 at 4:16am
Health professionals recommend not giving children fruit;  "All you are giving them is lots of sugar in a ball"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Sep 2014 at 4:00am
Hefner booted out of Playboy Mansion;  Abe Vigoda moving in "to finally give the place some class"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Sep 2014 at 3:42am
Greek police turn water cannon, soap suds on austerity protesters;  "If they want to look like hippies, fine.  But they don't have to smell like them"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Sep 2014 at 4:38am
Snail species declared extinct due to global warming found happily thriving in a tropical paradise;  Climatologists grumble, change data again to show they are right
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Sep 2014 at 4:41am
Two heterosexual men getting married to win radio contest;  Gay groups outraged that the "unnatural union" is an insult to the sacred institution of traditional marriage 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Sep 2014 at 4:13am

Bill Maher sneaking out of studio wearing burqa disguise after last week's comments about Islam;  Though still angry with him, some Muslim males think he has sexy ankles

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Sep 2014 at 4:48am
A Not-So-Surprising finding:  "R" is the most abused letter on Talk Like A Pirate Day; "Q" is the most ignored
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Papa Lazarou View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Sep 2014 at 5:29am
tha' thar be quite a quixotic quandary, me boy.
Banana!
BANANA!!
BANANA!!!
BANANA!!
Banana!
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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Sep 2014 at 3:59am
Harry Houdini letter written in disappearing ink fetches $1.5 million at auction;  Winner pays with blank check
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Sep 2014 at 4:09am
Obama declares global war on climate change;  Announces that airstrikes "are being launched today" against the growing global warming terror
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Sep 2014 at 5:30am
Secret Service catches 3rd grade class tour group who entered White House without being noticed;  One child with a spoiled egg salad sandwich to be charged with bioterrorism
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