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Stinky, Stupid Jingles

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    Posted: 22 May 2009 at 1:27pm
>>> Don't get me wrong. I like ranch too.



Gahhhhh!!!!!DeadDeadDead I hate RanchAngryAngryAngry

I hate Ranch dressing, I hate ranch potato and tortilla chips, I hate ranch dip, I hate ranch everything and anything.

Supposedly, ranch dressing started the whole "ranch" craze (crazy "cult", IMHO) with Hidden Valley Farms, or some such, based on buttermilk with spices.

Sorry, but buttermilk belongs in only three possible places on this planet: buttermilk pancakes or waffles, buttermilk biscuits, and inside butter churn machines to create butter for my toast and popcorn. That's it. It does not belong on my salad, or my potato chips, or my burger, or whatever.

I'm one of perhaps three, maybe four, people on this tired mudball that actually enjoy most food without that food being adulterated by sauces, seasonings, flavored powders, et cetera. Potato chips are good, without all the artificial flavors. Frito's Corn Chips are good, without "chili cheese" fake flavors and others. Doritos chips are good without "nacho cheese" fake flavor and others. I enjoy my taco without extra "hot" sauce.  A-1 Steak Sauce belongs on NOTHING! If the steak you are about to eat needs steak sauce or ketchup, then you chose the wrong piece of meat in the first place.

(ain't it amazing how one little word (ranch) can push a mental button and start an entirely new thread topic?)
"Si vis pacem, para bellum"

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Irishman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 May 2009 at 9:08am
Remember when McDonald's marketed to families?
They only ever had two kinds of ads:
'McDonaldland', with no adults (aside from Ronald and the gang);
or the general campaigns(with the 'nice' jingles), usually featuring adults and kids.
Now, you'd never see a kid in one of their ads except during kids' programming, and the family-oriented stuff has given way to that oh-so-important 'twentysomething bakehead' demographic...although they do have a slightly different campaign for their iced coffee, featuring some speeded-up camera work shot from the point of view of some woman who sips from the coffee cup as she goes through her day in about ten seconds of air time.(Backed by some barely intelligible Latin-flavored jingle).
And more recently, there's some 'McDonald's 24/7 Black' campaign, which equates serving the African-American community with having some idiot with a throwback 'fro ('fro-back?) doing bad beat poetry to his coffee, which cleverly has a frothy 'Golden Arches' logo'.
Apparently, this is their idea of 'diversity.'
How about if McDonald's featured ads with African-Americans who don't talk they just fell  out of a Spike Lee movie...I mean 'joint'? "Mickey D's!"
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PrinceJ Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2009 at 1:45pm
I am old enough to remember when McDonalds had nice jingles, such as "You deserve a break today".  Now their jingles go "BAH, BAH, BAH, BAH, BAH, I'm loving it" and I have no idea what they are loving. 
"Even an old fart was once a breath of fresh air"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lucian Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2009 at 1:31pm
I just realized. We don't have Carl's Junior here and I don't think you guys have Whataburgers... Well rest assured. I KNOW where you're coming from.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lucian Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2009 at 1:30pm
I'm happy to hear that I'm not alone. Just knowing that someone shares in my annoyance makes me feel better. I'm a musician too. Maybe thats why it irks us more than others. Apparently we are in the minority. It doesnt take a fool to realize that they spend tons of money surveying people and this is the end result. It's like Whataburger and the "chicken bacon ranch sandwich". Oh your favorite thing is chicken? Your next favorite thing is bacon? Your favorite fattening childish condiment is ranch? Well let's just make a sandwich with those things. We'll call it (faraway look...) The Chicken Bacon Ranch sandwich! And viola! An instant best seller. And then we'll spend an even greater amount of money shoving useless commercials down your throats! Don't get me wrong. I like ranch too. But I also like a lot of other things. After working in restaurants for 15 years (and gladly, no more) nothing irked me more than grown people with the pallettes and tastes of 5 year olds. Chicken strips are not a food group fools!Have a piece of lettuce. It wont kill you I promise. You might even like it. Oh and I can't believe I forgot this one. The E-surance "Get Animated" cartoon dude playing the guitar and singing... Goodness. I have to go before I have an aneurysm.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ad Endless Nauseum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2009 at 11:55am
I'm right with ya. I grew up trained as a musician (violin, viola, and voice), and I find ad jingles to be the worst part of ads, besides the insane number of repetitions of the ads during a campaign. I hate jingles even more than slogans, tag lines, and buzz words and buzz phrases, as annoying as they are.

And you are right. I do not spend money for goods or services if their ads stick in my head trying to drive me nuts!Angry  I've not once entered or driven through a Carl's Junior joint for more than 25 years. That is when they started showing eight inch high burgers, which must have glass in them from the noise they make when the actor eats them, and that triple damned slogan "if it doesn't go all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face", with a half gallon of special sauce glopping twenty stories down an unfinished sky scraper onto some cute gal on the sidewalk.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lucian Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2009 at 2:50am
Okay, here's my beef. And FYI, I came on here because I'm am ready to go on a rampage due to all of these STUPID jingles I keep hearing. I don't know what these people think, but bashing me over the head with a god forsaken jingle over and over again doesnt endear me to their product(s). On the contrary, it creates a lifelong, non-refundable boycott on my part. I don't even know where to start so Ill start with the one I just saw. A VW commercial with some sort of ukelele noodle accompanied by an annoying whistle. What are they thinking? How much did they pay for this?! Then there's the Blackberry "Storm" commercial you know, with the girl touching the screen? I can't explain it. There are no words. It's just stupid. AND incessant. There's the Honda commercial with some kind of silly "green" song. Some whiny chick crying about getting along and saving trees, I dont know. WHO knows? Gawd it sucks. There's the Sprite commercial with the pseudo hard rock song"YEAAAGH!!!! Give it to me now!!". Go ahead and keep it. Awful. Terrible.  Makes me want to go buy a sprite and shoot it with a shotgun. Then you got your these little snippets of jingles "H-O-T-W-I-R-E Hotwire dot commmm!!". Yeah. I will NOt be going to that website, You can count on it. You got Cialis soft porn music, the Big Mac "I'm lovin it" rap, ahhh...... I cant go on anymore. If I didnt know any better, Id say they were monitoring me cuz wouldnt you know it, I can't BUY a commercial right now, and I know there are many more jingles to hate. Perhaps Ill post an addendum. Oh, and I freaking hate that little... whatever you want to call it that the Sci-Fi  channel uses. RRRGGGGHHHH.  one acronym for you people. DVR. Let's make these commercials obsolete.
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