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Who should Rihanna date? are you f**king kidding?

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FaithSF View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FaithSF Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 3:50am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

Originally posted by FaithSF FaithSF wrote:

Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

Originally posted by FaithSF FaithSF wrote:

Wow . . . sexism AND racism in one thread!  We don't get this lucky that often! Confused
 
Oh geeez...... what'd we do wrong this time? Ermm


Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

And, though I would certainly never condone hitting a woman, or anyone else in anger or for any reason other than self defense, I can't help wonder if she didn't "press his buttons" or provoke him a little bit. 
 
Even though you included my quote in your post, you still misquoted me, or at the very least, misinterpreted what I said.
 
Here's what I said
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

I can't help wonder if she didn't "press his buttons" or provoke him a little bit.
 
People who are intimately involved with one another often times do that.
 
And here's what you said I said
Originally posted by FaithSF FaithSF wrote:

And you, Jimbo:  why do you assume she "pushed his buttons"?  And Pa agreed with you, that women intentionally do that.

Note that I used the words "WONDER & IF", as well as "PEOPLE & ONE ANOTHER".
 
I made it a point to use those words specifically so that someone wouldn't GET THE WRONG IDEA & think I was being prejudiced towards women, or assuming that she provoked him.
 
I "assumed" NOTHING.
 
All the assuming that was done, was on your part.
 
 


Jimbo:  You are right, and I was wrong.  You did say you "wondered if," but still, it would not have entered my mind to wonder if someone provoked violence.  I apologize.

Thor, American Idol winner and new darling of country music, Carrie Underwood, sings a song about what a woman did to her boyfriend's car in "Before He Cheats."  (I've bolded the pertinent lyrics.)

Before He Cheats

Right now he's probably slow dancing
With a bleached-blond tramp
And she's probably getting frisky
Right now, he's probably buying
Her some fruity little drink
'Cause she can't shoot whiskey

Right now, he's probably up behind her
With a pool stick
Showing her how to shoot a combo
And he don't know

I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

Right now, she's probably up singing some
White-trash version of Shania karaoke
Right now, she's probably saying, "I'm drunk"
And he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky

Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars
Worth of that bathroom Polo
Oh and he don't know

That I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl
'Cause the next time that he cheats
Oh, you know it won't be on me!
No, not on me

'Cause I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, before he cheats


© THAT LITTLE HOUSE MUSIC; SONY/ATV TUNES D/B/A CROSS KEYS PUB; MIGHTY UNDERDOG MUSIC; 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 3:51am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

 
What about the Two and a Half Men episode with Jenna Elfman where she was smashing up her psychiatrist's Mercedes with a baseball bat the first time they ever saw her?
 
Then, I think maybe later in the episode, it turns out that it wasn't really her shrink's car afterall, but her boyfrioend's or husband's.
 
 
I thought it was just a stranger's car that she had mistaken for her shrink's.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FaithSF Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 3:52am
Originally posted by gail gail wrote:

   Faith, reread the post. I said That NOBODY has the right to inflict bodily harm. regardless of  being male or female. Manipulative men? Oh yes, I know many. Most could easily be labelled sociopaths. Oh the times i've fantasized about having a gun. The difference between us and them is that we do walk away.


I read that part the first time, Gail.  I understood that you said that nobody has the right to inflict bodily harm.  I'm just saying that manipulation is not, by any means, strictly a female thing.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 3:55am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by gail gail wrote:

  Thor, I wouldn't refer to that sort of behavior as being "celebrated". It would require a helluva alot of anger and I somehow think that something quite hideous having been done to the woman described might warrant it. No matter which way you slice it, physical violence is far more heinous.
 
By "celebrated", I mean it's sung in songs and presented in movies as a positive thing.  In Waiting to Exhale, the woman (it was actually Angela Bassett) burned her husband's belongings because he left her.  In the song that Pa posted and the lyrics I posted, a boyfriend who's merely suspected of cheating, gets his windshield smashed and his clothing set on fire.  Maybe they do deserve it, but nevertheless, those women are "celebrating" their bad reaction to his bad behavior.
 
So now is it "women" or "black women"?
 
Because I would say the stereotype is of women across the board.
 
And I think that only "happens" in Hollywood make believe land.
 
I doubt it happens much in real life.
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:00am
Originally posted by FaithSF FaithSF wrote:



Thor, American Idol winner and new darling of country music, Carrie Underwood, sings a song about what a woman did to her boyfriend's car in "Before He Cheats."  (I've bolded the pertinent lyrics.)


 
Lovely.  I stand corrected (though I still hear more of this stuff in black music).
 
Nevertheless...what a crass society we're becoming that such behavior is presented proudly and militantly.  In the Carrie Underwood song, he was just a boyfriend, for Chrissakes!  Dump him if he cheats on you, Carrie.  He's not your husband, and as such, can date who he wants.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:03am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

 
And I think that only "happens" in Hollywood make believe land.
 
I doubt it happens much in real life.
 
 
Seems to happen on those judge shows a lot.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FaithSF Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:04am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by FaithSF FaithSF wrote:



Thor, American Idol winner and new darling of country music, Carrie Underwood, sings a song about what a woman did to her boyfriend's car in "Before He Cheats."  (I've bolded the pertinent lyrics.)


 
Lovely.  I stand corrected (though I still hear more of this stuff in black music).
 
Nevertheless...what a crass society we're becoming that such behavior is presented proudly and militantly.  In the Carrie Underwood song, he was just a boyfriend, for Chrissakes!  Dump him if he cheats on you, Carrie.  He's not your husband, and as such, can date who he wants.
 
 


Well, actually, according to the lyrics (the next time he cheats it won't be on her), she did dump him.  But not before she exacted her revenge on his car.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote gail Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:05am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by gail gail wrote:

  Does that mean that a bitter custody battle with a husband who's sole purpose is retaliation is a white man's thing?
 
I dunno.  Maybe it is.  Do you think it is?  It sounds like you might.
 
 
 
    Are you kidding by  trying to turn this around on me? I've been married 26 years to a white man with whom I have two wonderful daughters, totally oppositional political viewpoints and have never had even a remotely physical fight with.
     I made a facetious comment to once again disprove the idiocy of stereotyping. This is turning into a sequel to the Madoff argument.
   
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:06am
Originally posted by FaithSF FaithSF wrote:

Jimbo:  You are right, and I was wrong.  You did say you "wondered if," but still, it would not have entered my mind to wonder if someone provoked violence.  I apologize.
 
No problem.
 
But let's be realistic.... people provoke other people into various behaviors all the time.
 
That doesn't excuse the behavior, but it puts it in a slightly different light.
 
IOW... if a guy hits a woman because she won't obey his commands, or cook or clean the way he wants her to, or dress the way he wants her to, or because she looked at someone else, etc. etc. is slighly different than if she slapped or scratched him first, or hinted that she cheated on him, or was thinking about cheating on him, etc.
 
Either way, it's still wrong, but the guy is less despicable in the second scenario than in the first.
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:09am
Originally posted by gail gail wrote:

 
    Are you kidding by  trying to turn this around on me? I've been married 26 years to a white man with whom I have two wonderful daughters, totally oppositional political viewpoints and have never had even a remotely physical fight with.
     I made a facetious comment to once again disprove the idiocy of stereotyping. This is turning into a sequel to the Madoff argument.
   
 
I never said that your observation came out of any personal experience.  Just that it sounded like an observation you've had of white men maybe using custody of kids as leverage in a divorce.  All I said was maybe that's true.  Y'know, there ARE differences in cultures.  That's why we call them cultures.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:11am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

 
And I think that only "happens" in Hollywood make believe land.
 
I doubt it happens much in real life.
 
 
Seems to happen on those judge shows a lot.
 
 
 
I wouldn't base my perception of reality on those judge shows if I were you, Thor. LOL
 
I've seen the old "her getting revenge on him via his things" on TV more times than I can remember & it's almost always been a white couple involved.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:12am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by gail gail wrote:

  Thor, I wouldn't refer to that sort of behavior as being "celebrated". It would require a helluva alot of anger and I somehow think that something quite hideous having been done to the woman described might warrant it. No matter which way you slice it, physical violence is far more heinous.
 
By "celebrated", I mean it's sung in songs and presented in movies as a positive thing.  In Waiting to Exhale, the woman (it was actually Angela Bassett) burned her husband's belongings because he left her.  In the song that Pa posted and the lyrics I posted, a boyfriend who's merely suspected of cheating, gets his windshield smashed and his clothing set on fire.  Maybe they do deserve it, but nevertheless, those women are "celebrating" their bad reaction to his bad behavior.
 
So now is it "women" or "black women"?
 
Because I would say the stereotype is of women across the board.
 
And I think that only "happens" in Hollywood make believe land.
 
I doubt it happens much in real life.
 
As much as I hate to say it, I've seen much too much of it in real life - never in either of our immediate families. And it has not ever favored one race or another, nor does it seem more prevalent in the city versus the country; it happens everywhere. From my perspective, it really is NOT a characteristic of race - but more of one somehow related to dependency upon each other within a relationship, and each individual's mental ability to address 'the bad times'. The proverbial 'last straw' is USUALLY where it all falls apart, but I've seen some folks that simply don't know themselves enough to even begin to control their tempers - and these types often create events where very bad things happen very unexpectedly.
I see NO benefit in 'celebrating' madness and generally unacceptable behavior in music.
Gorilla mentality and displays are quite unimpressive and are not 'tough' - they're childish; immature.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:22am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

 
I wouldn't base my perception of reality on those judge shows if I were you, Thor. LOL
 
I've seen the old "her getting revenge on him via his things" on TV more times than I can remember & it's almost always been a white couple involved.
 
 
 
Well, I hear a lot of violence in rap music, and don't really know if there's any element of truth to it.  Maybe it's all just fantasy??  I dunno.  I'm not quite part of the rap scene.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:25am
I just got a joke emailed to me recently that sort of addressed the "revenge via his property issue...."
 
A teenage kid came home with a very nice, expensive late model car. His mother asked him where he got it & he told her the lady down the street sold it to him for next to nothing. Pocket change. The joke ends with her having found out the so-called "business trip" her husband left on was really a case of him running off with his young girlfriend. Unaware that she was onto him, he called & said he had an emergency, & he needed her to sell his car & send him all the money she could get for it, so she sold his car to the kid up the street for like $20.
 
Same basic thing.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote gail Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:25am
     It is an epidemic . Regardless of  whether the source of the bad behavior is black, white, wealthy or impoverished, the idol worship of all things bad is prevalent across the board. "Reality" television, disgusting song lyrics, violent movies, ridiculous talk shows and incredibly disrespectful opposing political punditry combined with a drooling semi-literate public to lap it up are all equally to blame.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:30am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

 
I wouldn't base my perception of reality on those judge shows if I were you, Thor. LOL
 
I've seen the old "her getting revenge on him via his things" on TV more times than I can remember & it's almost always been a white couple involved.
 
 
 
Well, I hear a lot of violence in rap music, and don't really know if there's any element of truth to it.  Maybe it's all just fantasy??  I dunno.  I'm not quite part of the rap scene.
 
I don't know anything about rap either, I'm just addressing your assertion that women taking out their anger on men's possessions being a "black thing".
 
I've seen it depicted as being a "white thing" more times than I can remember.
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:34am
I think the root of that whole thing is the perception that guys are in love with their junk.
 
And we are.
 
Our electronic gadgets, our sporting gear, golf clubs, snowboards, cool cars, record collections, old sneakers, whatever.
 
And the easiest target of a scorned woman's revenge?
 
The true objects of our desire..... our beloved junk.
 
Great material for commercials.
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote gail Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:41am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

I think the root of that whole thing is the perception that guys are in love with their junk.
 
And we are.
 
Our electronic gadgets, our sporting gear, golf clubs, snowboards, cool cars, record collections, old sneakers, whatever.
 
And the easiest target of a scorned woman's revenge?
 
The true objects of our desire..... our beloved junk.
 
Great material for commercials.
 
 
 
  Even I'll vouch for that theory. My threats, though never enacted are always related to throwing his electronic tech gadgets out the window.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:43am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

 
I don't know anything about rap either, I'm just addressing your assertion that women taking out their anger on men's possessions being a "black thing".
 
I've seen it depicted as being a "white thing" more times than I can remember.
 
 
Well, I didn't say it was exclusively a black thing.  I said it was more of a black thing.  And that blacks seem to celebrate it more.  And I pointed out at least 5 examples in this thread, and got one in response.  I never said that whites don't do it.  In fact, a white woman did it to me (smashed my car window, scattered a bag of laundry---one shirt was torn to shreds, and it was one that she had given me, so I knew who did it).  But she never admitted it, let alone bragged about it.
 
 
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I gotta jump back into this clusterf**k.    I have to say that if Rihanna was throwing his stuff out the window, I'd have to say SHE WAS ASKING FOR IT!!
 
I know I'll take heat for that, but think for a moment.   What would YOU do if HE was throwing your Jimmy Choos, Prada and Gucci out the window?   
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 4:56am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

 
I don't know anything about rap either, I'm just addressing your assertion that women taking out their anger on men's possessions being a "black thing".
 
I've seen it depicted as being a "white thing" more times than I can remember.
 
 
Well, I didn't say it was exclusively a black thing.  I said it was more of a black thing.  And that blacks seem to celebrate it more.  And I pointed out at least 5 examples in this thread, and got one in response.  I never said that whites don't do it.
 
Well, unfortunately, I don't keep a catalog of such things, but I remember a recent commercial where a young, attractive white couple were going at it & she was breaking his stuff & throwing it out the window, etc.
 
May have been a blue jeans commercial or a beer commercial, I don't remember.
 
It's almost always a young, attractive white couple.
 
It's really an old stereotype. They've been using it forever.
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote N-Dizzle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 5:01am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

 
I don't know anything about rap either, I'm just addressing your assertion that women taking out their anger on men's possessions being a "black thing".
 
I've seen it depicted as being a "white thing" more times than I can remember.
 
 
Well, I didn't say it was exclusively a black thing.  I said it was more of a black thing.  And that blacks seem to celebrate it more.  And I pointed out at least 5 examples in this thread, and got one in response.  I never said that whites don't do it.
 
Well, unfortunately, I don't keep a catalog of such things, but I remember a recent commercial where a young, attractive white couple were going at it & she was breaking his stuff & throwing it out the window, etc.
 
May have been a blue jeans commercial or a beer commercial, I don't remember.
 
It's almost always a young, attractive white couple.
 
It's really an old stereotype. They've been using it forever.
 
 
It also was a car insurance company.    Someone in another apartment was telling someone about their new car and as that was happening, a white couple across the street were having a fight and she was throwing his stuff out the window(except it was big sh*t like a TV, chair, etc).   
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FaithSF Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 5:05am
Rihanna was pissed off because he got a call from another woman (or something similar).  He pushed her, while driving, up against the door and was continously punching the crap out of her, while driving!

I don't care what the hell she did.  The only provocation that would have validity would have been if she had been beating on him.   But she wasn't.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 5:18am
Originally posted by FaithSF FaithSF wrote:

Rihanna was pissed off because he got a call from another woman (or something similar).  He pushed her, while driving, up against the door and was continously punching the crap out of her, while driving!

I don't care what the hell she did.  The only provocation that would have validity would have been if she had been beating on him.   But she wasn't.
 
Well, I was only engaging in idle speculation, as I've paid zero attention to Rihanna, or whatsisname, or anything that has to do with them.
 
And I'm not trying to challenge you or prolong any argument here, but as far as my idle speculation goes.... neither of us were in the car with them, we don't know the dynamics of their relationship, or what was said or done to whom by whom either at that moment or earlier in the evening, or the day, or the day before, etc. etc.
 
This couyld've been the culmination of an ongoing thing that had been building up, & I'd venture to guess they're both a couple of a-holes that provoke & needle each other every chance they get.
 
I guess what I'm trying to say overall, is just that I doubt she's some sweet, virtuous, meek little victim who's never stirred the pot.
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Mar 2009 at 5:39am
Now we come back full circle.  She may or may not have provoked---maybe even deserved---his reaction.  But he shouldn't have reacted. 
 
The reality is that men will ultimately always have that trump card---their sheer physical power---over women.  Whether or not they use it, is another story.  Even if she's beating on him, he'd better be careful not to retaliate too much.  The law doesn't take too kindly to men who do.
 
But if those are the dynamics of their (Rihanna/Brown) relationship, let em go at it.  I've little sympathy for either.  It's like that other Brown---Bobby---and his wife Whitney.  Who cares if they pummel each other?  To me, they're just a comic strip.  Maybe For Better or for Worse?  Or was it Andy Capp?
 
 
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