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The Charmin Bears...

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MrCleveland View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrCleveland Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: The Charmin Bears...
    Posted: 01 Jun 2015 at 12:37am
Bears don't use toilet paper nor wear clothes...stop it Charmin!
Thank God for kids who love Obscure Things.

Lee Hazelwood (1929-2007)
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Papa Lazarou View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jun 2015 at 12:41am
That's right. Everyone knows they use slave boys and wear leather harnesses.
Banana!
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Banana!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Darthhillbilly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jun 2015 at 12:45am
No no no no NO. Bears use rabbits, because poop washes out of rabbit fur easily.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a sh*t in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Do you have a problem with sh*t sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says no and the bear whipes his ass with the rabbit. -Gilbert Gottfried
"It's never too late to choose life...instead of the internet. Just drop the mouse." - Darwin Watterson
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote TeamEdward1976 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Oct 2015 at 1:23am
I'm so sick of those stupid bears!They make me miss Mr.Whipple everytime they're on!
Julie
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote soupkitchen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Mar 2016 at 2:14am
i'm glad you brought this up..cant stand these ads either....f**kin truecar guy needs to eat their old tp.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote zippyjet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Apr 2016 at 1:13am

Would you bet your life on the fact that bears don't sh*t in the woods? There's a porky barrell government program thats training lions, tigers and bears oh my propper popping protocal. The program also includes manatees, beavers and goats. There's a program already for men who talk to goats. Bears do indeed sh*t in the woods. As a matter of fact man has jacked much of their habitat, paved paradise and put up parking lots and Mc. Mansions. So, if Yogi, Gentile Ben or Teddy drop a deuce on your veranda deal with it and don't shoot em. P & G is proactive as the TP market shrinks as those in the know like myself are going the bidet way! My Aquas 360 spiffs up where the sun don't shine, exponentially cutting my dependence on the roll. Aquaus 360 Premium Handheld / Hand Held Bidet for Toilet - Made in the USA - NSF Certified - 3 Year Warranty
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tikibagger Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 May 2016 at 3:10pm
The Charmin Bears are OBSESSED with fecal matter and its outcome
...YUMMY Broccolini!!....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote zippyjet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Nov 2020 at 1:26am
Originally posted by tikibagger tikibagger wrote:


The Charmin Bears are OBSESSED with fecal matter and its outcome


The Charman Bears are into scat aka. Coprophillia.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AndroidFan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jun 2021 at 3:11am
the charmin bears are cute :'(
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jun 2021 at 3:15am
So cute it makes me want to stomp them.
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
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C'mon, man!
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tikibagger View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tikibagger Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jul 2021 at 4:05pm
Originally posted by AndroidFan AndroidFan wrote:

the charmin bears are cute :'(
Its CUTE to fixate over wiping your COOLO?
C'MON MAN
they are HATEFUL
...YUMMY Broccolini!!....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote atikovi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Jul 2021 at 11:23pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AndroidFan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Aug 2021 at 12:11am
I love the charmin bears.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gsrecaps Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Oct 2023 at 7:00pm
Bumping this because it's still relevant today. They're still on the airwaves.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angry McPisseron 3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Nov 2023 at 5:24am
F
FIRST MATCH: Ron Popeil vs. The Charmin Shitting Bear
This fight takes place on the set of one of Ron's infomercials. Ron takes homefield advantage here and clocks Shitting Bear in the side of the head with a Showtime Rotisserie!! That's GOTTA hurt!! This tough old bear isn't phased by the blow though, and starts wiping his ass with New & Improved Charmin With Butt Pillows and then stuffing the shit-covered toliet wads down Popiel's throat. Yuck! Ron vomits in disgust and reaches for a can of his spray-on hair and shoots Shitting Bear right between the eyes. All this does is piss off Shitting Bear, so he takes the top off a Popiel Automatic Pasta Maker and shits in it, wipes again with Charmin, and makes Ron some nice poo-poo pasta! While Ron is retching on the pasta, Shitting Bear grabs him by the legs, drags him outside, and swings - wrapping Popiel around a tree like a golf club! Ron's down for the count... but wait there's more!! Call within the next 6 minutes, and Ron will shove Shitting Bear through the toliet seat in an outhouse and then toss in a burning Ronco Kitchen Magician!

THE WINNER: RON POPEIL


ROUND SEVEN: THE SNUGGLES DRYER BEAR vs. THE CHARMIN SHITTING BEAR

This event shall take place in the bathroom and (toward the end) the wash room in the home of a standard middle-class household. The bathroom is equipped with the usual: a black Kohler Rialto toliet, a vanity with sink, a medicine cabinet, and a bathtub. The wash room is equipped with what you'd expect: there is a top load washing machine and a front load dryer in it.

The Charmin Shitting Bear takes first blood in this battle; unrolling a large quantity of Charmin with Butt Pillows and attempting to suffocate the Snuggles bear with it. But the Snuggles bear is a stuffed animal, and does not need to breathe!

The Snuggles bear goes right to the wash room for his weapon of choise: a bottle of Snuggle liquid fabric softener, runs into the bathroom, and empties it into the toliet. The pleasant scent attracts the Charmin bear to the shitbowl, and when he leans in to take a whiff, the Snuggles dryer bear viciously slams the toliet seat against the back of the Charmin Shitting Bear's head, knocking him out!!!

Snuggles then goes to the medicine cabinet and fishes around in there for a knife or a pair of scissors. He finds some scissors, and though it takes some time, he manages to decapitate the Charmin shitting bear, killing it.

WINNER ROUND SEVEN: THE SNUGGLES DRYER BEAR
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tikibagger View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tikibagger Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Jan 2024 at 10:48pm
Hey drop a piano on ALL emus, bears and 
dougs..
...YUMMY Broccolini!!....
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Angry McPisseron 3 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angry McPisseron 3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jan 2024 at 4:07am
Originally posted by tikibagger tikibagger wrote:

Hey drop a piano on ALL emus, bears and 
dougs..
...and then take the shit-covered bungwipe and wipe it all over those assinine phoney-bologna fake CGI bears. LOL
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