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Yoplait "No HFCS"

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Snesgamer View Drop Down
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    Posted: 18 Jul 2013 at 4:25am
http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7tyf/yoplait-no-high-fructose-corn-syrup-everything

Wait, Yoplait - when did I have this valleygirl-ish conversation which ended with me saying "I would talk, but my mouth is full of yogurt" with you?

Did you brainwash me and perform torturous experiments on me until my mouth was drooling in a catatonic state? Because that's the only time I'd EVER be talking like this!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2013 at 5:09am
 
"When you asked us to remove high fructose corn syrup from our yogurt, we were like sherrrrr, no problem".
 
Oh, bullsh*t.  You were not "like sherrrrr, no problem".
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sgtrock21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2013 at 5:32am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:


 

"When you asked us to remove high fructose corn syrup from our yogurt, we were like sherrrrr, no problem".

 

Oh, bullsh*t.  You were not "like sherrrrr, no problem".

 

 


So Yoplait healthy swapourtuity yogurt contains corn syrup. Why am I not surprised!   
EEEEts All so REEEdEEEculous
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EMCEE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2013 at 7:32pm
If they were so worried about being healthy to begin with, why the f*ck would they use HFCS in the first place? 
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hezadancer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2013 at 9:13pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

 
"When you asked us to remove high fructose corn syrup from our yogurt, we were like sherrrrr, no problem".
 
Oh, bullsh*t.  You were not "like sherrrrr, no problem".
 
 


No kidding. More like omg we're losing market share to informed consumers, let's act like we're doing them a favor and switch to alternate sweeteners.

I don't eat yoplait, but I know a lot of yogurts also use natural AND artificial fruit flavor. Switching from HFCS doesn't mean sh*t if the strawberry flavor is coming from beaver piss and crushed red beetles.
It's ok, I'm in marketing!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2013 at 9:31pm
Actually, the beaver piss and crushed red beetles might be healthier, considering strawberries have no protective cover and absorb the most pesticides (Tomatoes and blueberries are also on this list, I believe).
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hezadancer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2013 at 9:35pm
My bad, it's actually beaver anal gland secretions and it's considered a "natural flavor". 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castoreum
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2013 at 9:49pm
Actually: "castoreum is the yellowish secretion of the castor sac in combination with the beaver's urine, used during scent marking of territory."

It also states that the castor sacs and anal glands are separate components, simply located close to each other internally.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ad nauseous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jul 2013 at 2:09am
Yuck! No thank you!
One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jul 2013 at 2:17am
I personally see nothing wrong with it. You can even retrieve castoreum without killing the beaver.

I'm more interested in these beetles...I want strawberry flavoured beetles...NOW! :D
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jul 2013 at 3:05am
Originally posted by Hezadancer Hezadancer wrote:

My bad, it's actually beaver anal gland secretions and it's considered a "natural flavor". 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castoreum
 
That's a hella loaded comment.  LOL
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ChrisInMI Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jul 2013 at 3:22am
I posted about this one before, under the heading "Another sh*tty Yoplait commercial." Which it certainly is.

Surprised no one has mentioned the annoying whistling music in the background!  Adding fake whistling is one helluva quick way to make an already crappy commercial worse.

And sorry, Lisa Kudrow, but my mouth was filled with vomit at the wretchedness of this commercial, not this horrid dairy "delight" with no high fructose corn syrup but flavored with secretions from beavers' anal glands.

The one plus about this commercial is that the "S" word is nowhere to be found.  And it's not nearly as horrific as that Yoplait Frozen Yogurt spot, which I think may be in the running for one of the worst of 2013.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dizrythmia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jul 2013 at 6:39am
mmm...beaver anal gland secretions.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jul 2013 at 11:54am
Yet again, the anal glands and castor sacs are separate. You can remove castor sacs without killing the beaver, but removing anal glands will = bye bye beaver.

Can you tell I'm a bit of a stickler for information? XD
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hootman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jul 2013 at 1:51pm
"Ward, don't you think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night?"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Jul 2013 at 5:55pm
"I think he had it coming, dearest."

*Ward stands in the mirror, admiring his beaver pelt fedora and beaver fur collar*
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snesgamer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jul 2013 at 3:44am
My yogurt topic evolved into a beaver anal gland topic in less than 5 replies. I'm not sure whether I should be horrified at that or not.LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Puppydogpants Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jul 2013 at 4:11am
The most irritating part of this commercial to me is the way Lisa Kudrow says "syrup." She says it like "Seeerr-up." Ugh that is so grating.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jul 2013 at 4:56am
Originally posted by Snesgamer Snesgamer wrote:

My yogurt topic evolved into a beaver anal gland topic in less than 5 replies. I'm not sure whether I should be horrified at that or not.LOL
 
Hey, it might make a good story to tell your grandchildren some day....  LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dizrythmia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jul 2013 at 6:43am
Originally posted by Codtaro Codtaro wrote:

Yet again, the anal glands and castor sacs are separate. You can remove castor sacs without killing the beaver, but removing anal glands will = bye bye beaver.

Can you tell I'm a bit of a stickler for information? XD
i actually do eat beaver anal glands :( i'm allergic to castor sacs.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jul 2013 at 8:55am
Well in that case, I have a Christmas present for you.

Just let me...reach around...and...whoops, that's my rectum...hold on, I'll get 'em...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angry McPisseron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jul 2013 at 1:35pm
"...you were like..."? Shocked
Like what?
Swallowed Massengill brand post-menstrual disposable douches? OuchDeadAngryDeadOuch

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dizrythmia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Jul 2013 at 5:35am
you've never heard that before? it's a quotative, similar to be all or go. i'm not gonna lie, i use it all the time. for example:
and tampon sumbarine was like, "'you were like...?' like what? swallowed massengill brand post-menstrual disposable douches?" and i was like, " you've never heard that before?"

it's viewed negatively by many as it's perceived to be more casual than said or even as slang, but it's shown that when speakers use the other quotatives i mentioned, they're more likely to report what was actually said, whereas with the said quotative, a summary is usually given. kind of an interesting (okay, maybe just to me) irony.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Jul 2013 at 7:28am
Originally posted by Puppydogpants Puppydogpants wrote:

The most irritating part of this commercial to me is the way Lisa Kudrow says "syrup." She says it like "Seeerr-up." Ugh that is so grating.
 
What do you say?  Sirrup (rhymes with stirrup)?  When I moved to California and first heard that, it sounded really wrong to me.  I've gotten used to it.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Jul 2013 at 7:41am
Originally posted by dizrythmia dizrythmia wrote:

you've never heard that before? it's a quotative, similar to be all or go. i'm not gonna lie, i use it all the time. for example:
and tampon sumbarine was like, "'you were like...?' like what? swallowed massengill brand post-menstrual disposable douches?" and i was like, " you've never heard that before?"

 
 
I've heard that before, plenty of times...but mainly from high school and college girls.  I once heard Judge Judy yell at a girl for talking that way.  The girl couldn't stop. 
 
I didn't realize that was Kudrow in the commercial.  She's like way too old to be all like talking like that. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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