Psycho Neighbor Stories |
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Hezadancer
Junior Executive Joined: 06 May 2008 Location: Around Status: Offline Points: 3770 |
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My psycho neighbor woman is at it again. While taking my dogs out yesterday I overheard her cussing and screaming at the elderly man that lives with her, you know, because they have their windows open from 40 degrees up. Something about how he's stupid because he can't work a cell phone or remember how to use the remote. I really don't like the old man either but now I just feel kind of sorry for him. Now I'm almost positive when he sits outside in the summer from sun up to sun down, he's not doing it because he wants to...
Then my other neighbor woman was outside smoking a cigarette and chatted me up about being pregnant, all the while the tied up pug in the yard behind her was going nuts. She asked if that dog was always so loud and obnoxious and I said yes, sometimes he is. She seemed really angry about that dog barking. I had to hold back SO MUCH to not yell at her for HER little dog she leaves outside who also gets into god awful yapping fits. Like wtf?! Are people deaf to their own dogs? |
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DARK FATHER
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: The Darkside Status: Offline Points: 1607 |
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NO KIDDING!?!?!? WOW!! I never would have guessed that! Now if Scotland Yard can just figure out which Victorian Era grave to exhume to get their match.
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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This author: http://www.casebook.org/dissertations/dst-pamandsickert.html thinks she's found him. I give it another 20 years before we'll be able to "reconstruct" somebody's appearance in a computer with a sample of their DNA. "See? This is what your grandmother's face looked like in the 1990's before she had plastic surgery...." |
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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"WELCOME", reads the large green and white porch flag. "She SHOULD hang that banner, considering the whole array of men she has coming and going!", growls MissyDWolf. Just because one has to hang a right and go a distance to reach The Den doesn't mean we don't have neighbors too far from the entrance of the trail. One is a semi-retired college prof, maybe 60.
300 pounds of 60 year-old mean, female-like flesh.
One of those people who sports the 'Handicapped' placard, but clearly isn't handicapped.
Hair color that changes more often than the weather - pretty sure it is orange, this week.
Still remember when she and her then-husband moved in, some five years back. They introduced themselves one fine day when we were pulling in and checking the mail. I had questions that very day - he was passive and 1/3 her size, she was nose-into everything and actually asked if MissyDWolf was the maid. Things have only gone downhill, from then on.
About three months later, we were once again pulling in when we saw her husband and another man pulling out with a moving van.
"Are you moving ALREADY?!", I asked.
"Just me - I've made a 'lifestyle' decision she can't live with.", he tells me before introducing his new 'partner'.
Was no surprise, really - he already 'wore the dress'. Heck, in fact, I remember congratulating him for escaping.
MissyDWolf kind of looked up at the sky and shook her head.
Well...a few years passed quetly before 'the cracks in the foundation' appeared.
She started having 'balcony parties'. The only reason we believed that was because all of a sudden, her large front balcony had driveway lights strapped to the balcony posts, furniture started appearing to go with the indoor-outdoor stereo and grill.
Then came the men - none of our business and we couldn't care less. until it was clear there were few repeat visitors, but also fewer and fewer 'quiet days', at her place. Doesn't bother me - we can't see or hear her activities from The Den.
"She appears to have been going for one of every kind, but the 'selection knob' appears to have got stuck on 'black'!", MissyDWolf told me, the other day.
"Are you worried about us getting robbed, or are you simply jealous, or are you going do document everything and have her busted for prostitution?", I asked.
"Maybe she's performing a study for 'Masters and Johnson Institute' that nobody will ever want to read...daaaamn! Maybe she's going to include photos and help test the 'gag reflex', ya think?...", she says, tossing in a few assorted comparisons to 'living in 'da hood'.
"Mind your own business or have her busted, Wolfette....she isn't hurting anyone but her next-door neighbors on the other side - you CAN get her on the balcony clutter if nothing else, right? You know that..."
I have a feeling MissyDWolf finally had enough and said *something*, as I noticed some balcony clean-up going on this A.M., after dropping her off at work. I have to wonder if she chose her time wisely as we will be leaving for the Southern portion of the U.S., this evening. I'd hate to come home to a burgled and burned-out shell of a den...
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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Hezadancer
Junior Executive Joined: 06 May 2008 Location: Around Status: Offline Points: 3770 |
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My crazy neighbor decided to talk to me! It was like 11PM and I was outside with my dogs and she pops out of her back door in what I assume is her bedroom to start sweeping her deck. Her flood lights were on but I'm fairly sure she left them on all day. They do that quite a lot.
My dogs were going nuts, obviously. Once I quieted them down she asked me if I was rude or deaf because apparently she said something to me and I didn't answer (you know, because I was preoccupied quieting down my dogs). I apologized and said I was hard of hearing, instead of "I didn't hear you". She is now convinced I'm deaf. Awesome. She wanted to warn me about the big white dog that lives behind my other neighbors, how it came to the fence and attacked her dogs? Logistically it makes no sense. That dog does occasionally get away from the owner BUT I'm not sure it's possible for that dog to ever reach her dogs the way the fences are, not to mention that particular dog hasn't escaped in quite a while. Oh well, thanks for the tip? She went on to be very chummy with me in a very one side rant about how crappy her life is. Something something she has 4 good for nothing kids who never call or help out, with the last one just leaving the nest not to long ago. She is also a grandmother because her daughter has a daughter. This explains the random girl who visits with a child I see occasionally. I decided to throw her a bone and say "you don't look old enough to be a grandmother". I lied, she does, she's 47 and tore up. She seemed very thrilled with that comment, like it really made up for whatever crappy day she apparently had. See? I can be nice. She went on to offer me some free flood light bulbs (and told me how she sells them to people all the time)even though I don't have fixtures for them so I declined. She talked disdainfully about the elderly man who lives with her, from my last update it was already clear to me she hated him. I asked about the third dog she had when we first moved in that mysteriously disappeared one day. She said she had just paid off a sofa she rented from Aarons and the dog completely tore it up so she gave him away. I'm glad she got rid of it, out of all 3 of her dogs that one was bad enough to warrant her tying it up. It barked all freaking day and escaped a lot from what she told me. Today her daughter was outside sweeping the deck within minutes of me coming outside with my dogs. WTF is with these people, they see me, can't they wait until I go back inside? I'm pregnant as f**k and in no mood to corral my animals when they start barking at her. She set up a kiddie pool on the deck for her daughter. Just what I need, them using their back yard. My neighbors on the other side already use the crap out of their back yard because they have an above ground pool and a large extended family. I absolutely hate being the one sandwiched between families like that because literally no one else on this side of the street uses their back yards. Suburbia is not my bag. It's going to be a long f**king summer. But at least my crazy neighbor is somewhat cool with me now. |
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sgtrock21
Junior Executive Joined: 18 Dec 2011 Location: Oregon Status: Offline Points: 6884 |
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We had a neighbor that moved in around 1990. We were living in a typical suburban neighborhood. They came from a local very rural area Like "Deliverance" country. They were actually very nice people. One Sunday morning at about 6:00 AM we were awakened by our next door neighbor's chain saw! When later confronted. The neighbor explained that he was used to cutting his firewood early in the morning! He appologized and never did it again. They adjusted.
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EEEEts All so REEEdEEEculous
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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A few shots of Liquid Skunk into those annoying neighbors' yards or balconies should keep them holed up inside for the summer....
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Hezadancer
Junior Executive Joined: 06 May 2008 Location: Around Status: Offline Points: 3770 |
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Not a half bad idea! It's hillarious because said crazy neighbors haven't bothered to mow their freaking lawn in over 2 weeks....yet they've swept the deck twice in one week and set up a baby pool. Huh? The lawn is like 2.5 feet high, go mow that sh*t.
Plus they left the baby pool out completely filled with water uncovered. I guarantee by the next time they come out to use it it's going to be a cesspool of algae and mosquito larvae. Yay! At least the above ground pool neighbors either cover the pool or use a circulator. I also just noticed signs up around town for "Neighbors day". Apparently you're supposed to take a few minutes out of your day and go talk to your neighbors later this month. LOL get real. |
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Offline Points: 63906 |
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I caused a bloody pitbull fight yesterday.
My neighbor across the street has one pitbull (Sadie) and he was dogsitting another one (Hercules). Both are very sweet dogs and had been having a great ol' time with each other. Until I arrived. I went over there in the late afternoon to see the two dogs. Neighbor told me to come on in. As soon as I did, the dogs came over to greet me. But as soon as they got to the door, one bumped into the other, and this bloody fight ensued between the two. Hercules had his face and lip torn up (but not too badly) and Sadie was scratched up and got a bad puncture wound.
The fight lasted a few minutes. We tried tearing them apart and couldn't. We poured water on 'em and that didn't help either. Finally, three of us managed to pull them apart. The whole thing really sucked. Some neighbor kids had even gathered outside when they heard all the yelling and barking and growling.
I feel especially bad for Hercules who doesn't really have a home other than his owner's truck, and got lucky when my neighbor agreed to dogsit him until the owner could find a place to live. There's no one else who's willing or able to take the dog in while his owner gets on his feet. Unfortunately, he blew it.
The owner's some f*cking tweaker guy. He rescued the dog 5 years ago from its life of absolute neglect. He was skinny and hairless and laying in his own feces until the guy rescued him (from other tweakers), and has taken good care of the dog for the most part. The dog's actually a very sweet dog who really needs the sort of stability that tweakers can't provide. Tweakers are pieces of sh*t. Now, I'm afraid this sweet, sad pooch, through no fault of his own, will end up in the pound.
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Hezadancer
Junior Executive Joined: 06 May 2008 Location: Around Status: Offline Points: 3770 |
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That's why I'm scared of having 2 or more large dogs vs 3 small ones. When mine start their sh*t with each other I'm not scared to reach in and grab one of them. With a larger dog I certainly wouldn't even try it.
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Offline Points: 63906 |
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^ This is my problem with pitbulls. They can be the sweetest dogs in the world, but with they way they are, there's no such thing as a minor little skirmish with them.
Awhile back, I rescued a little terrier type of dog running around a fairly busy street near me. It required me reaching under a truck and grabbing him by the collar. He was scared and bit me, but it was such a minor injury, it didn't even stop me from pulling him out from beneath that truck. No way could I have done that with a pit.
For the record, the dog had tags and his owner came and got him. I imagine the dog wasn't real happy with me, because as far as he was concerned, I was the one who interrupted his big ol' adventure. Cute pup.
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Hezadancer
Junior Executive Joined: 06 May 2008 Location: Around Status: Offline Points: 3770 |
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My Spock must have dog bi-polar disorder. When he's not trying to rape your face with kisses and demanding you pet him, he's a grumpy grumbling mess who doesn't want to be touched. When he bites he rarely breaks the skin, but I'm sure the way he sees it he's being a ferocious killer.
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sgtrock21
Junior Executive Joined: 18 Dec 2011 Location: Oregon Status: Offline Points: 6884 |
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EEEEts All so REEEdEEEculous
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Offline Points: 63906 |
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I've noticed that, too. My cats are more terrified when someone's walking their chihuahuas past the house than when someone's walking their Lab or even Pit Bull. Chihuahuas are little terrors.
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insanity213
Ad Exec Joined: 16 Mar 2011 Location: Texas Status: Offline Points: 7806 |
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^^ Chihuahuas are evil little demon seeds. Just look up "evil chihuahua" on youtube and you'll get about a billion results. My aunt had the coolest chihuahua though ... he was obsessively possessive with whoever was holding him.
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Offline Points: 63906 |
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I've never understood why people would have a chihuahua as a pet. With all the less insane dogs out there, why a chihuahua? Maybe someone here who has one can explain.
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insanity213
Ad Exec Joined: 16 Mar 2011 Location: Texas Status: Offline Points: 7806 |
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They can be loving dogs with their owners, but yeah every one I've encountered almost seems to be bipolar and will go from Jekyll to Hyde without almost zero notice.
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aka ron
Honor Roll Joined: 11 Apr 2009 Location: WI Status: Offline Points: 33539 |
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Aggressive dog types can cause alot of problems. The TV court programs have a hay day with it everyday.
My dog is the nightmare of the neighborhood, But she has NEVER attacked a person or another dog. My sympathies, 10 years ago I was in a 1 room apt., so I know about neighbor problems.
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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I've never owned one, but I've heard that you don't need to take them out for a walk. You just point their butt out a window and squeeze....
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Offline Points: 63906 |
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^
Make sure you don't pop their eyes out. Granted, it'd be hard to tell.
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Offline Points: 63906 |
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I'm friends with the guy across the street, but he's kinda nuts. Early 50s, divorced, on permanent disability due to some vague physical problem that doesn't stop him from playing golf and riding his motorcycle at crazy speeds, grows pot, barters various prescription pills ("Norcos", "Percs", "Oxies", etc.) and has a fair amount of traffic coming and going as a result, is into various Alex Jones 'Infowars' conspiracy theories, hates cops, hates corporations, etc. On the other hand, he's a nice-enough guy, a decent neighbor, and loves his animals. So when he told me that he's trying to get off of these painkiller drugs but needed to go pick up some Xanax to help him sleep while he comes off of these drugs, I told him I'd take him there. I figured if he was on painkillers, he probably shouldn't be on his motorcyle. I didn't like it. There we were, 9pm Saturday night, sitting in an empty parking lot near a nice gated community as we waited for his "friend" to show up, looking suspicious as hell (at least in my opinion). Nothing happened, and "the deal" went down alright, but I don't think I'm gonna be doing this again. The last thing in the world I need is to be busted for drugs that I don't even have any involvement in. |
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aka ron
Honor Roll Joined: 11 Apr 2009 Location: WI Status: Offline Points: 33539 |
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Big Risk! That nice guy is gonna get you in trouble there buddy.
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Offline Points: 63906 |
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Yeah, I thought we'd just go to someone's house, get him what he needs, and get outta there. Instead, we sat in my car in a parking lot for about 10 minutes, waiting for the guy to show up. He gave the drugs to a woman (the person who led us there), and that woman brought them over to my car. It made me think of all the stories I read coming out of Oakland, in which people were shot "while sitting in their car" at night. Whenever I read those stories, I assume drugs were involved. Sitting in your car at night in a parking lot seems a suspicious thing to be doing. I made it clear to the guy that this isn't something I wanna do again. |
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 56960 |
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I used to be friends with a guy who dealt a lot of weed. He'd had his license suspended, so I'd drive him around here & there in his car, using his gas. Occasionally, of course, he'd need to make a run to his supplier, usually to pick up a "Quarter Pounder" (no cheese).
This particular supplier lived for awhile in an apt complex & since she didn't know me, I naturally didn't accompany him inside, but sat out in the car instead. Also, rather than park right outside her apt, he'd have me park next to the pool & laundry room area, then walk down between two buildings, around the corner & out of my sight. One of the (many) stupid things this guy would do, was to allow the ash tray of his car to fill up with roaches. I'd was always on his back about how unwise it was & that if I was gonna drive him to pick up weed, I'd appreciate him cleaning the damned things out first. And of course, he never would. So one evening, just before dark, I drive him up there, sitting in his car in the usual spot, when a Deputy Sheriff pulls up next to me. I'm sitting there with the window down, arm resting on the edge acting cool, paying him no heed. He gets out of the car, walks directly in front of me, holding his big flashlight, & just stands there with his back to me for what seems like an eternity, looking over at the pool area. And I'm sitting there in the driver's seat of a car with an ashtray packed full of half smoked joints. Turns out, the cop's apartment was right there next to where we were parked. Just about the time the cop decides he'd gotten his message across & started walking up to his place, my friend comes walking up to the car, QP stuffed down the front of his pants as usual. Needless to say, I gave the dude hell about the ashtray & told him next time, he cleans the damned thing out or I don't drive him anywhere anymore. After that, he started keeping it emptied out. |
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Offline Points: 63906 |
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^ Yeah. Some people are just so damned cavalier about their drugs. If you're gonna be doing some drug deal, make yourself as "invisible" about it as possible. I get a kick hearing about drug runners getting busted after being stopped for speeding or a broken tail light. Duh. My neighbor said that nothing would happen because he has an Rx for Xanax, anyway, and that he simply ran out of them. I don't think that would hold up. It's still illegal to deal or be dealt such drugs. And then there's my involvement. Couldn't my car be impounded? |
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