...I....I...I dunno - but I'll try one more time as I sit in my office chair....

That's not good for you.

And what if you reeeaaallly had to sh*t & you've already sh*t once that day?

Would you just walk around suffering all day, squeezing & grunting & doubling over in pain?

And forget about sleeping!!!

How do you keep from sh*tting the bed??????

Thor wrote:   I thought this was some old Donathan thread being revived.   I don't allow myself more than one crap a day.  I crap and then I take a shower.  If I have to crap again later on---sorry, it's gonna have to wait until the morning.  I keep my bowels disciplined and regular.  None of this free-for-all, "when the spirit moves me" stuff.  I'm no hippie.

The last post I remember from Donathan was about how Florida resembled a... no - actually, I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say a topic titled "Do you poop enough?" would be among his tamer ones.

Thor wrote: Jimbo wrote: PaWolf wrote: Having read that, I'd suggest you might be F.O.S. If poop is on its way, no reason to let it play 'panty prairie dog' - "if it's a'pokin' its head, it's better left for dead!" ('pawism' #7). Yup. That's what *I* always told our younguns! "sh*t your britches, get your stitches!..." (pawism #8). I'd tell the lil'spermmistakes, "because, if you do, you're going to wear those pants until your mother gets home...". No Thor - don't be a sh*thead - the toilet will love you for feeding it, and, well...so will everyone around you. I think he was just sh*ttin us, Pa. Sounds like something he heard or read somewhere.   Nope.  Not kidding at all.  I'll admit that there have been a few exceptions over the years (and more than a few when I was sick in 2005), but I'll bet none in the past few years.  Most of it is that, once I take my perfect (#3 or #4 on the Bristol Scale) daily crap, I'm done.  I don't need to go again until the next day.  Also, when I go to take a dump, I sit down and in seconds, it's out.  It's quicker than taking a leak.  No reading material in my bathroom.   Maybe you're just jealous of my regularity and perfectly-formed bowel movements.  Everyone is.       Bristol Scale:   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_stool_scale

Jimbo wrote: ...And btw, I poop quite frequently. Usually a good two or three times a day. Sometimes more, especially if I drink milk.

Panty prairie dog, LOL!  We always referred to it as turtle head.  

PaWolf wrote: "Life is serene when the butt is kept clean, pristine and unseen"

I'm gonna let you all in on a little "secret"...

I call this the "Poor Man's Bidet".

Works great. Rinses your butthole nice & clean & reduces the amount of toilet paper you need to use.

Leaves you feeling like you just took a shower after a dump.

I'm talking about one of these...



Just a few bucks at any drug store or Walmart.

And no, you don't "insert" anything anywhere. Just fill it up with water, reach around behind you, point it in the "general direction" & give it a good hard squeeze. You'll know if the water is "hitting the spot".

Refill & repeat about 4 - 6 times. Maybe a couple more if it's a "sticky" one.

Keep an old bowl near the lavatory & get used to filling it up with water before you sit. I can reach my lavatory from the throne because they're right next to each other, so it's right there.

I've been doing this for a few years now & I'd never go back to dry. This really cleans you off. Usually, there's nothing on the toilet paper but water.

I give it two thumbs up!!!

Maybe Pa enjoys some double impact in the bathroom?

Tiz wrote:  *I thought this was some old Donathan thread being revived.* I thought this was gonna be another Pa "Poll".  1: How much is enough Pa? 2: Is that per day Pa? 3:Does having to double flush mean too much, Pa?

I was talking about the other side, Pa....

The Battle of Battle Creek