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"Debt relief" ads

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Larry View Drop Down
Commercial Hater
Commercial Hater

Joined: 12 Oct 2008
Location: Michigan
Status: Offline
Points: 63
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    Posted: 27 Jan 2009 at 7:12pm
Can't remember any of the names, but they all sound alike:
"Creditors don't want you to know this, but you have the 'right' to settle your debts for pennies on the dollar."
I do?  I have that "right"?  Wow!
Well, yeah, and I also have the 'right' to skinny dip in Scarlett Johansson's swimming pool - if Scarlett Johansson lets me.  "Settlement" implies consent; if two parties agree, no one will stop it.  Thus, the "right" to settle my debts.
But these stupid ads imply that all these creditors are hiding behind their doors, trembling and looking through their peepholes, saying "Oh, no, here comes Larry, and he's gonna settle his debts!  Noooooooo!!!!!  And he's got Acme Debt Relief with him!  The bastard!"
If creditors didn't want people to know they have the "right" to settle their debts, then why do they call and write with settlement offers?  Not very good with secrets, are they?
Naturally, no creditor is going to offer to compromise a debt until the debt is old and/or the debtor is clearly insolvent, so these agencies often will simply take your money (skimming quite a bit for themselves) and let your debts age while you save up a settlement warchest.  Meantime your credit scores go south and your debts turn into judgments, and the agency may settle one or two debts for you before you file bankruptcy.  But at least they got their fees.
Now, see, if you had only gone to, you never would have gotten in trouble in the first place!  But don't fear.  You can just go to the bank, dump a bunch of pennies on the counter, and say you have a "right" to settle your loan for $1.25.  The radio guy said you could!
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