Ad Campaigns That Should Die

 

For some reason I just thought of the Just For Men, with Keith, Clyde (Clive?) and someone else.  These are so lame, juvenile, OLD.

 

Cialis, Viagra, et al, a new one of these just the other day, woman looks really intent on reading her book but is also twisting her hair so Cialis breath seems to think she is horny or flirting so he launches on her.  And I saw the stupid one where he is so smart, he knows to pull over and put water in his smoking radiator, and this shows what a 4 hour virile stud he is.  DUH!

 

--Laughing Cow cheese

--Swiffer anything

--Smuckers (2 little boys who never seem to grow up)

--Hidden Valley Ranch

--Douche as in "Refresh"

--Dairy Queen that stupid man doing things that make no sense.

--Roaming Gnome (travelocity)  I noticed the other day that his voice has changed and it is really different.

--Cheezits--Same crap, new situation.  The worst runs when viewing "Active" on DirecTV.  Those things run on a really short loop and drive you crazy unless you exit quickly.

 

 

 

 

All commercials portraying the girlfriend/wife as a ball-busting, uptight, frigid bitch.

 

Chester the Cheetah: It's a shame, I used to like Chester the Cheetah because he was, well, a cheetah. Unfortunately, in a recent attempt to update Chester, I guess, to make him more relatable to a younger audience, the writers have turned him into a smarmy little prick.

 

That bimbo from the Vodka commercials with the shaved head. The first time I saw the commercial, I wasn't really watching or paying attention to the fact it was a Vodka commercial and I was confused because honestly, I thought that I may have been watching late night Comedy Central (because it's classy like that), even though I could have sworn it was only about 8:00 at night and I was watching TBS. I actually thought they were advertising a porno channel or a porno site. Nope, just a Vodka ad. The aesthetic is only ridiculous, but her phone sex operator voice grates me.

 

All these ads featuring these suave debonaire type men who talk about "random" things in a baritone voice. 

 

Goes without saying: Axe commercials. Not only am I not entirely convinced that the main ingredient in Axe *isn't* chloroform, but the commercials smack of skanky, slightly predatory, and trying to be pretentious, or about as pretentious as a $3.50 bottle of noxious vapor can get. If you look like you haven't showered in about a month, and bathing in such vile substance makes it even worse, it isn't going to help you score with the chicks, unless they themselves are trashy. Then again, I guess that's the goal. How about "double pits to chesty" with a bar of soap instead, ya skank?

 

Diaper commercials always make me feel uncomfortable.

 

K-Y Jelly commercials. I guess the intent is to interview people who seem otherwise bland to persuade people that they're having the most amazing sex ever to compensate for their lack of personality. Also, call me old-fashioned, but do we really need to see these commercials at all hours of the day, and how many different types of K-Y Jelly do you need? I understand wanting to spice it up a little, but how much help do you need with feeling that "sensation"?

 

The same goes for Trojan Euphoria commercials. You need that much help in the bedroom, you're doing it wrong. The same for Pos-T-Vac and the eight million other erectile dysfunction "remedies" that could probably kill you.

 

GO DADDY COMMERCIALS. "Find out what happens next!". How about no. First of all, I'm a lady of the male persuasion. Second of all, you're not fooling anyone, but if you are, they pretty much deserve it anyway. Time to find a new marketing scheme.

 

The weird attorney ads where a grinning man places a hat on his head mid-pitch. I think it's Binder and Binder. I didn't hear a syllable of his ad because I'm thinking 'wtf is going on with that hat?'...

Lastly, anything with 'cash' or 'money' in the slogan. Have some decency, people. It reminds me of the fat people a table over at Outback arguing about how much money they're allowed to spend. So tacky. 

 

I hate that one. Every time I have the misfortune to hear those commercials on the radio, I want to bash my radio in.

 

Also, agreed with those that wish the "Good Mood Food" turd with the goofy hairstyle would go away.